I know the storm you’ve gone through seems endless and the pain feels like a broken record of intense triggers once it surfaces. I don’t doubt that what you’ve gone through is a series of struggles, heartaches, and tears. But you somehow still have the strength to go about your day.
You still choose to smile because you don’t want everyone to know how much you’re really struggling. You smile to fast track your pain from helpless to strong. Your smile reassures you that everything is going to be okay because eventually it will.
I know that behind closed doors, though, you are a mess. In fact, I can imagine how much emotional weight you have to carry to be going through this every day.
But there will be better days. There will be moments where you’ll catch yourself smiling for no reason and times where you will honour all the things that have happened to you.
Days will come where your mind is finally at peace, where you will find pure bliss in the simplest things life offers. You will find days where you can easily look back to this moment and not shed a single tear. You’ll find yourself with a smile and no regrets. There will come a time where you will be at your happiest because of what you had gone through and what you had survived. You will be a warrior created from the dimmest corners of your darkest days, a soldier of the light, derived from the shattered pieces of a broken heart, and a survivor planted by life’s most painful tragedies.
Please don’t run from the pain, the hurt, and especially from the situation itself. Sit with it, feel it wholeheartedly, and embrace it. Instead of avoiding or numbing it, face it. Face the triggers that race to your mind reminding you of the things you’ve lost. Face the tears that reach your heart breaking and the fear of not knowing if the world will ever be the same again.
Be okay with spending time alone. You owe it to yourself to heal properly as the only answer to cope with chaos is solitude. You don’t need someone else to fix you, you don’t need anything else to make you happy other than yourself. Sometimes there are cracks in your heart for the light to enter. When you’ve hit absolute rock bottom, the only way is up. When you’ve explored all your options, I hope you know there is always one more to consider. And when you can no longer see a light at the end of the tunnel, I hope you know there is still a glimmer of hope waiting for you regardless.
You have nothing to lose, so why not be better?
The struggle is a blessing. The pain, sorrow, hurt, and the loss will make you stronger than before, more compassionate than ever, and braver than you will ever be. It will make you want to help others, inspire them with your story of survival, and inevitably become a better human being. You will be kinder, more transparent, and will lead with the knowledge that no problem ever exists without a solution. You will not be the same person that walked into the storm when walking out.
One day you are going to wake up and be the best version of yourself, and I promise you, you are going to be so proud that you survived.
Originally Published on Thought Catalog