Over the years, I have learned quality is better than quantity. I was lucky enough to learn this valuable lesson late in high school. However, I didn’t truly listen to my gut until the first few years of post-secondary school. It wasn’t until I moved across the country that I truly realized what I needed. When I moved, I only kept those friends who had positive impacts on my life. I said goodbye to those friendships whose unnecessary negativity brought me down. Hands down, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.
When you’re in secondary school, it’s hard to end those friendships that aren’t good for your mental health. You see those toxic “friends” every day, you hang out in the same groups, and you’re in the same classes.
No matter where you are in life, I get it: It’s hard to cut ties with old friends.
I hope you know that it’s normal to take a step back and realize someone you may have been friends with for decades doesn’t belong in your life anymore. It’s all part of growing up.
I am 24 years old, and I have all the friends I need in my life. Honestly, I can count my best friends on one hand, and every single one them would be there for me in a heartbeat. I can also count all my close friends on one hand, and I know they would be there for me in the blink of an eye. They are all rooting for me on the sidelines, as I am for them. Those are the kinds of friendships you need in your life.
If you realize who your real friends are now, you’ll be set for the rest of your life.
Take a minute to reflect on the friendships you currently have. Make a note of the friends who lift you up and the ones who bring you down. We are young enough to say goodbye to negative friendships. We are young enough to find the friendships we deserve.
As we get older, life tends to get in the way of our friendships. People get into serious relationships and chase their career goals. This is a normal, adult stage to go through. I am lucky enough to have friends who are at the same stage of life as I am. But, I had to let go of friendships that could have gotten in the way of my future endeavours.
I have always been the friend who cares too much.
However, letting go of those draining friendships has made me a better person. Not only has it made me a lot more mature, but it has shown me that friends grow together. My best friend and I are both in serious relationships. She understands that I can’t always spend time with her, she doesn’t get jealous, and she cheers us on! When we tell each other secrets, we don’t expect each other not to tell our boyfriends… because we both get each other.
We are both happy, content, and have a great friendship.
Yes, it’s possible to have it all. You just have to filter out the self-serving people and forge healthy friendships. It’s up to you to make the right decisions. I encourage you to carefully choose your friends now, while you are still young. This way, you have the rest of your life to meet friends who genuinely care about you, root for you, and understand that we are all our own people.
Take a step back, look at the relationships you have in your life, and only keep the friends who truly make you happy. It’s time to choose you. Your happiness should be your number one priority, so, put it first! Once you let go of others’ negativity, you’ll feel like you’ve lifted a heap of bricks off your shoulders.
Photo by Genessa Panainte on Unsplash