Please Don’t Tell Me That You Aren’t Looking For Anything Serious

There is something so infuriating about a blow-off from a man, especially when they use the statement, “I’m not looking for anything serious.” Of course, men always use that statement  as an afterthought. After things have already evolved into something more and after things have already progressed to the next stage in the relationship. After you’ve taken a step towards a serious relationship. But, most confusing of all, what is your definition of serious?

The most frustrating thing about men is their lack of understanding when it comes to women and this misconception that we’re all looking for the same thing. So, your buddy’s woman is trying to lock it down and put a ring on it, so all women must be looking for the same exact thing. We all must be looking for this “can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars” type of love that they talk about in chick-flick romantic comedies and want nothing more with our lives than to be consumed with the idea of a future with you. But here’s the thing, gentlemen: we’re not. Not all women are looking for the same type of seriousness when it comes to a relationship. Don’t think this is a mind game or a false statement by a woman who is just saying this because she was just blown off, but some women aren’t looking for you to be the top priority in their life.

While some women are looking to get a large-ass ring and want a half-dozen buns in their oven right away, we aren’t all the same. Maybe five or 10 years down the road, it will be nice to receive the same type of commitment that you give to your video games, but we aren’t all looking for that same thing right at this moment. Some women aren’t looking for love at all. Some women are simply looking to find someone to go see a funny movie and share some Sour Patch Kids with. Some are simply looking to find someone who they have something in common with and be able to fill a void that they are missing. Some women are simply looking to fill their Saturday night with someone who can banter and throw sarcastic comments back and forth with. You’re not a placeholder, but I’m sorry to tell you that some women aren’t looking to make you the top of their priority list because we’re too serious about other things in our lives.

In this day and age when women are running the world, we’re simply too busy for this Nicholas Sparks bullshit of making out in the rain and dropping our whole lives to be with you every moment of every day. We would just like to go out for a cup of with a nice guy and have a good conversation about the latest “30 Seconds To Mars” album. That is all. We’re not looking to hitch a ride on the red-eye to Vegas or trying to trick you into getting us knocked up so that you’re stuck with us forever. We are simply looking for someone who is down for a beer after a long day at work or is willing to listen about what shitty thing our idiot boss did or to go mini-golfing and just have a good, “non-serious” time. Sex would also be a plus for all parties, but remember, we’re busy, so don’t get your hopes for it up every night because we have other serious things that we need to attend to.

You say you aren’t looking for anything serious, but we call your bullshit. Every girl that you say that to is most likely the girl who isn’t looking for anything serious, too. She is the one that isn’t forcing you to talk on the phone with her for four hours every night or buying you the patch to get you to quit smoking. She isn’t trying to change you or chain you to a radiator and never let you out of her sight. She is the girl that you could probably see yourself getting serious with, but you’re too scared, lazy, and intimidated. Whatever you are, you’re making excuses for the women out there who are simply looking for someone fun to get to know. When it comes down to it, you’re going to be kicking yourself for missing out on a really good woman. So think about this:hen it all comes down to it, ask yourself, who is the one being too serious?

Previously published by Thought Catalog.

Featured Photo via Unsplash


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