What Actually Happens When You Cut Someone Out Of Your Life

Cutting someone out of your life is often more difficult than it sounds. It means that all forms of communication have been cut off, and all interaction is completed. The memories will soon be forgotten, as will that person. But it’s more than just getting rid of someone; it isn’t that easy.

They might have been a toxic person. They could have been a close friend turned bad influence. This person could have transformed into someone you don’t even know. Do they even recognize themselves in the mirror anymore? How could you want to keep them around when they aren’t the person you learned to adore? Maybe the timing was just right.

By deleting them off of social media, you are blocking all access of communication. You won’t give them the chance to see what happens in your life and vice versa. But just because you have cut ties doesn’t mean someone else has, so you will still see interaction with other people. And that might hurt you at times. The reminders of that person will hurt you more than they ever did.

You had to do it for yourself and your sanity. While your intentions might be pure and to better yourself, you will find yourself becoming angry at times. The temptation to confront them will burn in your blood. You might have written messages and just couldn’t press send, or start avoiding crossing paths in fear of how you will react. It’s all normal, just resist the urge to get physical as much as you want to. They are not worth it.

By cutting someone out of your life, you will look like the bad guy. You can explain it to everyone in the world until you are blue in the face, but not everyone will understand the reason. And in terms of the person you are trying to be set free from, they will tell a different story, forcing people to pick sides or change their opinion of you.

You will have to censor your words and be aware of what information you give out, especially in the beginning stages. If word does get back to them about how you’re doing or something you’re doing, you want it all to be positive to seem like you’re in a better place, even though you’ll be an emotional mess and tugged at different directions of feelings.

Just because you chose to not be associated with someone anymore doesn’t mean it needs to cause a rift in other people. It doesn’t give them a valid reason to hate you, but people will. Maybe they’ll be afraid that you’ll leave them next. People outside of your core group of people won’t fully understand or relate to your reasoning, and that’s okay.

It means that there will be an anxiousness before every social function for a while. You don’t want to see them at events but that risk is always there and you need to accept and expect it. It’s okay to be nervous at a mutual friends party or being in public. Sometimes if you know they will definitely be somewhere you will have to say no to avoid seeing them, and that’s okay, you’ll have to make those decisions sometimes to avoid conflict or awkward and unwanted conversation.

What cutting someone out of your life actually means is making the decision to put yourself first. When you get to the point in your life where you feel comfortable being somewhere they might be, you’ll know. You’ll grow to not care once the healing has finished. You won’t be as aware of what other people think and your confidence and self-love will be radiating. You cut someone out of your life for you.

Featured image via Shade Jay on Unsplash


  1. Definitely something I needed to read as I cut someone very toxic out of my life a few months ago, and a lot of people in my outer circle have been reaching out asking why I did what I did. But after reading the article is validated my decision and made me realize that I made the right choice. And whenever the time comes where I will see this person due, to having the same mutual friends I will go in the environment not hurting or worrying what other people will think or say. THANK YOU!

    • You are most welcome! I’m very glad you were able to get the validation you needed in a difficult time. Always remember you have to do what’s best for you and while some people may never understand it, they aren’t meant to. Keep doing you xo

  2. Helps explain all the have I made right desison doubts- but putting yourself first is main thing – thank u – stay blessed

  3. I don’t think I can leave this guy as much as I need to I feel like I need another guy to just to get the other guy off my mind I just wants real mfr

  4. Thank you for this. It really helps soothe my soul during times where my anxiety levels get the best of me. For 7 years, my boyfriends mom has been on and off with me, leaving me with an impression that she cares about me enough to even emotionally manipulate me. She told me several times that we weren’t friends, yet whenever she acted out and I put space between us, it was convenient for her to call me family suddenly…I’ve learned to stand my ground with her to no longer accept this behavior which comes at a price of my boyfriend telling me that I am overreacting to his mom gaslighting me, acting clueless, completely denying her actions and making me feel like I’m imagining everything. After years of trying to be decent with her I realized I was enabling such behavior which puts both of us at fault. Now, I keep my distance from her 95% of the time and she has tried to reach out to me through email but I keep all interactions to a minimal with her. If I talk to her, I always make sure someone else is around because I’ve grown tired of her telling others that I am overly aggressive with her when I am only honest with her, something she does not do with me even though she calls me family and a friend.

    Take care of yourself first and do what’s right. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it causes a lot of anxiety if you have no choice but to be around that person, but it’s the right thing and will lead to your happiness. Teach people how you want to be treated and move on if they don’t respect your wishes.


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