Why I Don’t See My Flaws As Burdens Anymore

I know I’m not the easiest person to love. My mood changes like seasons – hot one moment, cold the next – but a bit more abrupt than that. Another piece of bad news is that this doesn’t just happen on some days, no. It happens a lot more than I want it to.

Along with this is my tendency to spill words I don’t mean to. You know this because it’s happened more times than I can count. Apologies come rushing out every single time because I’m fully aware of how much it affects you when I say things that are, quite honestly, out of line. But you always try to understand me. You never fail to assure me that this does not mean that there’s something wrong with me. You have the ability to shrug things off and let things pass without having to make me feel bad about myself.

In contrast to this, there are some days when I don’t feel like saying what’s on my mind. I’d go from talking a hundred words per minute to not speaking at all. This irks you a little more than you’d like to admit, I think because it makes you wonder whether you’ve done something wrong for me to act this way. But, as I’ve told you before, this doesn’t have anything to do with you at all. Sometimes, my mind just gets the best of me and it takes me to places I can’t easily drag myself out of. I find myself getting stuck in a reverie I never wanted to be in. It’s not something I, myself, can understand clearly but you do. I know you do for the reason that you know exactly how to snap me back to reality and see what’s right in front of me – you.

I know I’m not the easiest person to love because my weaknesses outnumber my strengths. But you, in all that you are, know exactly what to say and do to convince me to believe that my frailties do not define me at all. I know I always roll my eyes at you when you notice the things I’m conscious of and try to make me see them the same way that you do, but the truth is that in those moments I want nothing more than to thank you.

So I know I can go on and on about these things but, in case you haven’t noticed, the silver lining in every single one of my imperfections is your knack at overlooking all of them and making me see that even though I’m far from perfect… you’re in this for the long haul. 

Featured image via Tobi on Pexels



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