Like Ted Mosbey from the hit TV series How I Met Your Mother, we all have our own Robin Scherbatsky. This is the person you wish you could be with. The person you keeping telling yourself that you’ll get over, but you never really do. It’s the person your friends are sick and tired of hearing about because it’s obvious that your Robin doesn’t want you. Even when you date, spend endless hours with other people and move forward, they are in the back of your mind. Whether you got closure or not, the idea of being with your Robin will always remain.
My Robin left and never looked back.
He left me for the girl he thought he loved. I was left to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and tame the rage from my friends. It was the kind of pain that hurts. The type of pain that is embedded in your heart and never quite heals. The kind that, when I hear his name, my heart gets that piercing streak of pain that shoots from the middle of my sternum down to the pit of my stomach.
No matter how much it pains me, I hope that the closure we never got will bring him back. I thought that maybe if I posted the right story, the perfect picture or the wittiest tweet, he’d notice me again. But he never did. No text, no phone call, no notification, and no communication for years left me even more broken than when he had left.
My Robin didn’t want me; that fact haunts my dreams and ruins my best days.
He was the reason why my other relationships didn’t work out. He was the person that I always made sure to keep tabs on. The person I would discretely ask about, hoping to hear that at the least, he was doing well. My friends have no idea that he is my Robin. My previous boyfriend had no idea why I was so sad that dreadful day when my Robin officially professed his love to the girl he left me for in the church.
My thoughts about him are better off dead, but they never seem to truly die. My Robin is like a Phoenix; I burn the idea of him to the ground, but every time the thoughts of him grow back stronger than before.
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