Why ‘I’m Not Angry, I’m Disappointed’ Is Total Bullsh*t

Family is an interesting word. It’s defined by dictonary.com as any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, or cousins. Oddly but not surprisingly, it does not consist of any emotional nouns. Funny isn’t it?

Your family is supposed to be the people who support you no matter what. Your family is supposed to be a judgment free zone. A place you can go and always do what is best for yourself. The people that you’ll always have by your side no matter how big or small the problem is… isn’t that family? Doesn’t family want what’s best for you? Aren’t they supposed to be your go-to people? Aren’t they supposed to have your back? I used to rely on you and felt comfortable telling you everything. I stood up for you when you would get badly talked about. I helped you out when you needed people to watch your children and put up with your lies for what? Disappointment?

I know family isn’t supposed to make each other look bad and I’m sorry I made you but you need to know I tried to make it work. I tried fixing those problems. I tried making it a happy place to be. I tried looking past the issues but when you are always around them, you start to forget how small the issues are, even more so when they never get fixed. The build up is worse than the actual issue. Surrounding yourself with negativity all the time starts to create an issue, an issue that turns everything negative. It got to the point where happiness was only found outside of the town. That isn’t a good life. That isn’t where anyone should be.

You need to know that leaving may not have been the best choice, but it was the best choice for me. I deserve to live a happy life, to do the things I want to do while I’m so young. It’s my time to be adventurous. It’s my time to be spontaneous. Why should I skip that step, or spend any more time doing something I hate? It is my time to learn about me.

So enough of this “I’m not angry, I’m disappointed” bull shit. You shouldn’t be either. You should be happy. Happy that I am learning more about myself, learning how to live a fun life. A life that revolves around being me and doing what I like. You can also be a little upset because I don’t work for you anymore but people come and go all the time so that will pass.

You may not be the people I thought you were and you can possibly say the same about me but family is family so let’s start acting like one. Let’s start bettering each other rather than tackling each other down. I’m ready whenever you are.

Love your happy and excited about life niece,

Ash

Featured Image via brandymelvilleusa

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