To The Friend You Lost To Her Relationship

Where did you go, my friend? I haven’t seen you in a while. Every time we invite you out, you are too busy to come. Every time we make plans, you cancel last minute. Every time you say we must get together, your words fall short. There is something behind the disappearance, something behind the hiding. We know he is the one pulling the strings and calling the shots, but why do you let it happen?

Do you remember what life was like before him? A time before a boyfriend taking all the free time that you had to spare? When you used to have your days and home to yourself and were free to do as you please. Do you remember what it was like to have independence? To go anywhere you wanted to and not have to ask permission? Do you remember what it was like before he told you that you weren’t allowed to?

Do you remember nights out with your friends without a man by your side? The nights we used to sip on wine and have a good time; making fun of our exes and the people we used to hate in high school. We used to go to the local bar where everyone knew our names and made sure that we were taken care of. We would be the loudest crowd in the bunch and play the worst boy band songs that we could find, making everyone in the bar groan as we would laugh in delight. We used to have so much fun, back before he came along.

It’s not that we don’t like him, we don’t even know him. It’s not that we are jealous of him, even though he does get to see you more than we do. It’s not that we don’t care that you aren’t around anymore because we do. It’s just that we miss you. We miss having you be a part of our lives. We miss getting to spend time with you. We miss girls night and gossiping like it had never gone out of style.

We miss you being in our lives.

We are also worried about you. Every time our plans go unanswered, we are concerned that he is the one behind that “no”. He is the one keeping you chained to him. He is the one that is insisting that you are too busy or that you have to something else to do because he doesn’t want you with anyone else. We are worried that you are losing everything we loved about you because he is not giving you the room to be you.

So where are you, my friend? We miss you so dear. Please don’t forget about us, the people who have been there for you since the beginning. We hope that you are happy and that you are in the place that you want to be, but don’t lose your sense of self and the person that we are so desperate to see.

We will always be here for you when you come back if you ever do. We were your friends from the start and loved you always for who you are. Don’t let him change the person we know or stop you from growing into something new. Just remember that we were here for you from the beginning and will continue to.

Feature image via Felix Rostig on Unsplash


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