I had my first fling at 20. I was so desperate for him to like me. My desperation allowed him to use me at my most vulnerable state. He continued to stomp on my heart and I called it love. After that fling ended I was sure love was not in my destiny. I was destined to be single and untouched for the rest of my days.
A month later, I was invited to a party. A tall, dark and handsome guy started talking to me which, of course, I took as a sign from the universe. This would be a new beginning. What was thought to be a rebound turned into him asking me out on a date the next morning. He wanted to get to know me. Confusion struck as I assumed, after sex, a man would not want to engage in conversation.
With hesitation, I agreed to meet for a movie which turned into hours of conversation. He was sweet, smart, and ridiculously handsome. As we got to know each other over the next few months I realized he didn’t pressure me to have sex, despite having previously been with him.
When he finally saw my body I assumed the relationship was over. He wouldn’t appreciate stretch marks and cellulite. To my surprise, he never made rude remarks about it. He showed patience on the days I hated my body and love and gratitude on the days I did. How could one man love me this much?
Two years of amazing memories and experiences later, our lives were at their most stressful. My first reaction was to run and his was to try and fix our problems. We decided to stay friends.
Even though he is not my boyfriend, he stayed supportive and protective. His behavior led me to understand that love was not just about flowers and Instagram pictures. Love was being there no matter what. He showed up, over and over again, even when he did not need to. And getting back together was the best decision of my life.
As cliche as it sounds, he was there through thick and thin. He proved to me he was in it for the long haul. He didn’t pretend to love me when it was convenient for him. I was not made out to look like a fool in front of his friends and I wasn’t blatantly disrespected. A boyfriend with a strong character was what was important and I was happy I found one for myself.
Ladies, don’t get swept off your feet by a man who offers flashy gifts but shows zero patience. Fall for the guy that makes you laugh when you want to cry. Date the guy who never gives up on you when you are ready to quit. Be with the guy that keeps you grounded when you fly and lifts your spirits when you’re in the trenches. Wait for the guy who is willing to be there in the storm. True love does not rush and neither should you.