It all started when I was too young to even know what this thing called “love” felt like. I witnessed it in fairy tales where the Princesses swooned over their respective Princes. I heard it in the songs that my older sister used to play on the radio over and over because of the words that seemed to fit her teenage years. Most especially, I saw it in my parents’ eyes whenever they look at each other longingly even after all the years that they’ve spent together.
I saw love. I heard love. But I didn’t actually think I’d feel love, myself… until I did.
Unlike the fairy tales and romcom films that I have always loved watching, my story didn’t have step-mother villains, to begin with. Mine started gradually. It began with an exchange of text messages that evolved to phone calls which sometimes lasted until the break of dawn. My story came to be with subtle hints that neither of us really thought about deeply.
Please, don’t tell me that I’m too young to learn what this is because, let’s face it, age doesn’t have anything to do with this. We are supposed to learn every step of the way no matter the time and age that we’re in. And being in the young adulthood stage of life should never account for the invalidation of my insights. A 15-year old could learn that love would sometimes be too immature to understand. An 18-year old, on the other hand, could discover that love should know how to wait a little bit longer. In your twenties, you can find out that love could sometimes mean putting yourself first. The list could go on forever. My point is that the learning that you will acquire can come in every phase of your life.
I saw love. I heard love. I felt love. And lately, I am beginning to understand it better.
I am slowly learning what it means when they say that you should love yourself more. At first, I thought it means that you should be a little selfish for your own good. But I’m starting to see it for what it actually is.
It’s making sure that the person that you invest your time in understands that you both have individual needs and he/she should be okay with them. It’s knowing deep within that the person that you’re with cares for you deeply that you won’t ever have to wonder about it. I am slowly learning that loving yourself more even when you’re in a relationship shouldn’t come off as a hard thing to do. Because love, as I’ve gathered, shouldn’t make you feel consumed.
Love, as I’m beginning to see, means that there’s a thin line between compromising and giving in. But if what you have is true, you don’t have to worry about it because communication should come off as easy between the two of you.
I saw love. I heard love. And I’m going to continuously learn about it along the way…
Because love, as I am now finally seeing, has never been meant to be learned by reading a 300 (or more) – paged book, or by watching a number of rom-com movies. It has never been meant to be learned on your own. Love is supposed to be gradually understood with the person who’s not only willing to comprehend things with you but is also willing to teach you a thing or two.
Baby, I’m glad I found you.