As millennials, we often feel like we are brought into the adult world and are entirely alone to fend for ourselves. Our egos tell us we are strong and independent; we don’t need help. Yet our mind screams at us to call our family members whenever something happens. And because of social media, we only see the positives in the lives of others so we feel like we’re the only one going through hard times. So here’s my message to the other millennials:
No one knows what they’re doing when they get into the real world.
We all feel like we are Dory when she enters the sea after she leaves the aquarium to try and find her family. There is no instruction manual on how to start your life. Do you get a temporary job until you get your dream job? Do you go to college even though you don’t know what career path you want to go down? Everyone has those questions.
None of us have friends after high school.
Whether you’re not going to college, are living at home while in post-secondary, or just graduated with your degree and are moving; no one has friends. You find out who your true friends are and who were only friends of convenience. Your only friends are your work friends. And we all wish we had more friends like we see other people have on social media; don’t be jealous of them as hard as it is to be. Their relationships won’t last longer than this phase of life anyway.
Relationships are a waste of time.
“But everyone else has one.” You might want a relationship but you don’t need one. Focus on getting yourself started in life. The second someone else enters your world they begin to influence you to the point of no return. Your twenties are your time to be selfish; so do things for yourself to better yourself.
It’s normal to feel defeated.
For some people failure is not something they’ve experienced. Take whatever setbacks you’ve been given and use them to grow. The “now what” and “I don’t know” moments are so much more common than you’ll ever think. Don’t let yourself give up because you’re stuck in the mud, dead in your tracks. Take that feeling of defeat, stick it in the mud itself, and plant it as a seed for growth and new opportunity. Please don’t give up on your dreams because it’s hard at the time. Success will come.
Life is not a race; there is no competition to see who gets where first.
A common misconception we all have is there’s a race against time. Oh my gosh, I’m 24 and I want to be married at 25, and I still haven’t graduated college yet. Just because you aren’t in a relationship or have your dream job by the ideal age you came up with in your head doesn’t make you a failure. If your friends are at that stage in life, congratulate them and remember it’ll eventually happen for you, too. The timing will be right one day.
Eliminate the thoughts of expectations.
Don’t let someone else’s definition of successful affect your reality, and don’t beat yourself up about it. When you eliminate any expectations you put on yourself or what others expect of you, you gain the opportunity to be happy and stress-free. It’s hard to let go of what other people think but you are doing this for yourself, by yourself, and because of yourself. Let the haters hate while you become successful the way you want to be.
What I’m trying to say is enjoy the moment you’re in, because these days will be over before you know it and you’ll be wishing you had them back. Enjoy your freedom, travel if you want to, take the chances you won’t be able to make one day.
live each day as if it’s a new stage of life.
But most importantly, you’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed and confused.