Maybe you’re locked in your room right now and your eyes have run out of tears, or maybe, you have just gotten home from that party where you danced and laughed like you were okay, but actually, you are dying inside. He is always on your mind and you are setting up some perfect scenarios of those ‘what-ifs’, not to mention that you always blame yourself for being the one who loved the most. Well, guess what? You have the right to feel this way. You have the right to feel guilty. Your relationship is over and you’re upset about it.
You see, I won’t say that the sun will rise tomorrow, there is still plenty of fish in the sea, or you should see the bright side of things. I won’t do that because I know those quotes won’t work to heal a shattered heart. Instead of reassuring you that everything is going to be alright, I will tell you the truth.
It’s going to hurt.
You will feel the pain in your chest every time you see something that makes you remember him. Your mind will relive each moment and you will end up scrolling those pictures you took together and hearing those songs that you sang along while he was driving besides you. You have every right to mourn your loss, to envy those couples who are still going strong for years, and to lose hope of having something called love.
But, please remember that you also have every right to choose.
You are the ones who are controlling your own mind; you are choosing your own feelings toward everything that happens to you. You are the ones who can heal your own wounds and you are the strongest person who can make decisions for yourself. If you choose to move on, you will, and if you choose to stay in this state, you will stay the way you are now.
Your best friends are trying to help you move on, those guys hitting on you now that you’re single, or texting him to ask how he’s doing isn’t going to help you move on. No, those things are just your distractions. They are just your temporary happiness, meanwhile, when you are alone, the hurt will come back. You are the one who makes yourself suffered for a long time or otherwise.
When you think that you can’t move on, it is actually the sign that deep down inside, you want to move on. You might say that your heart hasn’t ready yet, but, you will never be ready if you keep saying that you are not ready. I know it’s hard. Nobody wants to change something that has already been a part of their life. You have to realize that change is the only key to get your happiness once more, there is no other way but make yourself ready to start all over again.
It might take several weeks, months, or years, and that’s okay. You have unlimited time to figure out your life after detaching yourself from your loved ones. Nobody can set the time limit for you because people know that it takes time to live the pain each day and get used to it, until it doesn’t hurt anymore.
I won’t say that you will get better or you will move on soon, because without me even saying it, I know you will. Humans are designed to survive the hurts of a broken heart, rejection, and disappointment; and you are a survivor. Sooner or later, you will be the one who writes another open letter to those women out there who can’t move on, just like I did.
And at the end of the day, changes start within you.
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