Dating is tricky. You find someone, you genuinely like them, things are going great, and you suddenly discover that you’re supposed to be “looking for something.” Since I began my relationship with my man, I’ve seen more articles talking about the percentages of compatibility, the checklist methods and the marriage tests, than ever before. Essentially, these articles are telling you that you need to find something deeper in your relationship for it to be real.
My relationship works because we accept it as what it is: a relationship. There is no math involved because I love him 100% all the time and I expect the same in return. There are no tests I religiously check up on. Relationships become so much harder when you filter them through these impossible requirements. If you’re only dating them to get married, then you’re dating them for the wrong reasons. Welcome to the 21st century.
So how do you know you’re with your forever person?
First and foremost: you’ll know when you don’t need a test.
With this person, none of that matters anymore. Your “forever” person can’t be boxed in by compatibility percentages – what does 80% even mean when you’re too busy dominating GTA together? Why do you need to answer These 5 Questions To See If He’s Husband Material? When you’re with the right person, you won’t be looking for some deeper level of relationship validation. You won’t need it like you needed it in other relationships. It’ll be obvious – more importantly, it’ll feel natural. When you snuggle next to them watching the new Luke Cage show, you’ll feel like it’s the easiest, most natural thing in the world.
You’ll know when you jet off across the world alone, but constantly think it’d be better with them.
When you’re with the wrong person, you’ll either feel like they have to be with you at every moment or grateful you got away from them for a few moments. But, the moment you step on a plane to have your own adventure and are genuinely missing them, consider this your beacon of truth. The right person will encourage you to do things on your own, the right relationship will grow from both of you living your own lives and coming together at the end of the day. But when you think of them looking at a museum in Seattle and feel that twinge in your heart, just know you’re headed in the right direction.
You’ll know when their friends become your friends.
And I’m talking genuine friendships. Not just the friends that you get know because you’re dating them – but the friends who genuinely appreciate having you around. Outsiders can usually pick up if two people aren’t right for each other, and their friends will be standing on the front lines. You’ll find yourself falling into place with their friends, and they’ll fit right in your group of friends, too. These friends will see how you bring out the best in each other. If you ever hear a “You guys are just right for each other!” from one of their friends, just know they mean it.
You don’t worry anymore.
You know they’ll end their day in bed beside you. Maybe you don’t text or call throughout the day, but you know they aren’t ghosting you. You hold their hand watching a movie knowing that those hands weren’t on someone else’s body. That worry, that curiosity, doesn’t exist with this person. You’ll wonder why you spent so much time with people who you invested so much fear and worry in. The right person will only instill love, not worry. Sure, every relationship has its ups and downs, but with this relationship, those downs won’t harm the love you share.
When you’ve been dating nothing but assholes, it can be hard to recognize when a good one has walked into your life. Don’t let the pain of the past distract you from what’s right in front of your face. The right person will be subtle, but the differences will be unmistakable.