I Want To Know You Beyond The Hook Ups

Being an old-fashioned romantic in a hook-up generation is easily one of the most frustrating and disheartening things. The things I want are not the things that other people, specifically the people I want to be with, want too. I want the courting, the dating, the “Will you be my girlfriend?” because there is an incredible magic found in all that that you can’t just find and never will find in a one-night stand with a stranger you meet at the bar.

I want to know you.
I don’t mean your favorite color,
food, or even middle name.

Don’t get me wrong,
those are pretty special too,
and I do want to know them,
but first, tell me about the scar
above your eyebrow you got from way back when.

Tell me about the first fight
you had with your mom,
or the nightmares you have now because
your dad was never there to save you
from all of your troubles.

Tell me about the voices in your head
that tell you “you’re not good enough,”
that “you’re never going to be enough”;
the ones that make you want to get in the car
and drive until
they no longer recognize who you are.

I don’t want to skim the surface
when I could dive beneath your surface

and hear about the struggles
you’ve dealt with or the thoughts
that have kept you awake night after night.

Tell me your secrets
and let me carry them with you.

Tell me about the time you failed a class
and it made you question everything
you’ve ever been taught.

Tell me about your first love
and if your stomach still knots
when you hear their name.
Then tell me about your first heartbreak.
Love is an ocean worth drowning in
but no one should have to ride the waves alone.

I want to know everything and
I won’t settle for less.

Because if I date you,
I want it to last. If I date you,
I’m dating you for a reason.
If I’m dating you, I’m dating you
to know you.

Featured image via Justin Follis on Unsplash


  1. Sometimes I feel like all the romance in this world has been sucked out with mediocre society pressures. Thank you for sharing this. It has made me realize again what I have always wanted.


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