Why All I Want To Say To My Ex Is Thank You

I never thought I would be the type of girl to ugly cry over a guy.

I saw myself as strong, independent, and very confident. Yet, there I was, lying in bed wondering what I had done wrong. Was I not good enough? Was I not patient enough? Had I become too much? All these questions ran through my mind and I felt so small and pathetic.

I wondered if you thought about me at all. Did you mean it when you told me that I was the love of your life? Months went by and you consumed my every thought. I could barely sleep or eat and I felt so alone.

Moving on was no easy thing.

However, time does in fact heal all wounds and one day I woke up and decided that I wasn’t going to let the thought of you invade my every moment.

I needed to move on because I deserve to be happy and I knew the world wasn’t going to stop for the girl with a broken heart. There were a lot of red flags that I ignored for our relationship. I pushed away my friends because you didn’t like them and I became such a different person. And honestly, I became someone I was not proud of.  

This past year I have had time to reflect and I have learned so much about myself without you.

The minute you walked out of my life you did me favor.

I felt content with our relationship and we had settled into a rhythm that I just didn’t want to break; the situation had become far too comfortable for me. I thank you for pulling the plug on this relationship when I didn’t have the courage to do so myself. By the end it was like we had put on a play and neither one of us wanted to break character. There was so much fear surrounding that type of change.

This past year I have focused on being the best possible version of myself for myself. I graduated college, I got a new job, and I’ve reconnected with my friends. I have learned what I want and what I won’t put up with.

I deserve someone that’s going to love me for me – even when I’m acting like a hormonal psychopath. I learned that sometimes being dumped is a blessing in disguise. My mistake was letting you be the basis of my happiness, and I want you to know that when you left me you did not break me.

You made me stronger and for that I will always be grateful. There are still times I can’t believe I let you consume so much of my time and my thoughts. And I can’t believe I let you make me feel so small. All of those feelings and emotions have passed and I have closed the chapter of my life that involves you. I feel free, I feel happy, and I love the woman I am becoming.

Featured Image via Noel Alva.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.