One of my biggest flaws that I dislike the most about myself is my tendency to mentally and emotionally hang on to those who have already left or checked out of the picture – friends and significant others alike. Something deep inside me truly believes that people aren’t as horrible as they really are and so I take a lot of shit from people because of it.
But the truth is, I’m sick of it. I’m tired of letting people walk all over me. I’m tired of holding on to the people who let go a long time ago, and I’m tired of holding on to the people who only held on for so long because they know they’ll need something from me later.
Today, I’m making a change. I’m doing something about it – I’m letting all of you go and this is why:
I’m letting you go because I deserve better. I deserve to be treated decently like a human being instead of something you toss in the trash. I deserve to have people in my life who won’t act like it’s such a chore to see me.
I’m letting you go because I’ve found people who appreciate me more than you ever could. I’ve found people who initiate conversations and ask me to do things with them, and it’s not always the other way around. They make me feel appreciated and that’s something I never got from any of you.
I’m letting you go because you can’t see my worth. You can’t find the time to appreciate me so I’m saving you the already little effort you put in and letting you go. I don’t know if you’ll ever realize my worth, but it’s none of my business if you do or not. It’s not worth any more of my energy to find out. It doesn’t matter to me what you think anymore, because I’m letting you go. I can only hope that one day you’ll realize how badly you screwed up.
I’m letting you go because you see nothing wrong with the way you treat people. To you, there’s no issue with how you treat me – or anyone else, for that matter. You’re okay with pushing people around and using them. I can only hope that one day you’ll realize that your actions are not okay and that you’ll be able to take responsibility for yourself.
I’m letting you go because I don’t need people in my life who are hypocritical. I don’t need people who will talk about me behind my back and do it to others as well. I need honest people in my life that I can trust and someone who can trust me.
I’m letting you go because I deserve people in my life who actually care about me. I deserve someone who will text me to ask me how my day was or who will occasionally check in with me to see how I’m doing. I don’t need people who will only reach out when they need something from me. I deserve better than that. Honestly, I deserve better than you.
I shouldn’t have to ask for this from anyone, but I am because I’ve made the choice my entire life to put up with their bullshit. Starting today, it’s over. I’m ending some friendships and I’m ending some relationships. It’s time that I let you go. It’s time that I surround myself with people who can meet those expectations of being a decent human being and a good friend. Isn’t that what we all deserve? To just let go.
Featured Image via Debi Fiügge