“People aren’t always going to be there for you. That’s why you learn to handle things on your own.”
Some people say learning in groups enables you to see things from a different perspective and learn what you may not always pick up on when you are on your own. But what about the times when you are undoubtedly on your own without a group as a second option?
Truth be told, there are some lessons you have to learn flying solo. It may not always be the worst case scenario, but you will learn some of life’s most important lessons this way.
Maybe you can relate; maybe you have seen the same situations arise in your life over and over, and maybe you have learned from them, too.
We know that failure is an essential part of learning. In the grand scheme of things, failure is one of the most feared but most learned aspects of the human existence. We are not here to perfect every waking detail of our lives. We are not defined by the failures and digressions of our past, but rather we are shaped from them.
If I were to tell you I had never failed at something, I would be lying. From racing my heart out only to finish outside of the qualifying placement times in high school track and cross-country, to having stories thrown back in my face when writing in college and beyond, I’ve learned that taking criticism the right way is crucial to failing gracefully. Ever been called a sore loser? Don’t be that person. Take every misstep in stride. Take that race and do better the next time. Take that story and rewrite it as many times as needed to turn it into something brilliant. And in the grand scheme of things, failure has brought me to where I am now.
We know that rejection is unavoidable at times but will help us learn to keep persevering. Not everyone is going to like you. Not every employer is going to take you under their wing. Not every potential love story is going to go your way. Learning to accept rejection and learn from it will only teach you to push harder for the things you want in life. Learn to embrace rejection. There’s been a period of time of about a year now, where I’ll open my email inbox hoping to see something about a potential full-time job interview for something I applied for. In reality, I get three or so rejection emails a week saying that I don’t have enough experience. I have plenty of experience, just not the business-y type that they were looking for. But it’s ok. I’ll keep trying because if I keep excelling in the part-time roles I have now, I’ll learn something I may not have before.
J.K. Rowling was rejected multiple times before finally being accepted as an author of your favorite childhood wizarding series. Look where she ended up. People deal with rejection every day. Whether you are rejected by that hunk you saw at the coffee shop or you are rejected as an artist or creator, take it in stride. The more rejections you get, the harder you try.
We know that honesty is the best policy for any situation. Regardless of how complicated the truth might be, regardless of how hard seeking the truth seems, nothing can come from lying your way through a difficult situation. Abraham Lincoln once said that “no man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar”. You can’t tell the truth to someone else and keep lying to yourself to maintain a peaceful existence. You want things in life to remain simple? Tell the truth, no matter the cost. Creating an alternate reality from a string of lies forces you to live in two separate worlds. Life is much more simple and pleasant with honesty, even if it takes a little more effort, sincerity, and time.
We learn that personal success has nothing to do with social status, the amount of money in your bank account, or the number of friends you have. Even if I look successful in the eyes of another, it doesn’t always mean I am successful or feel that way. Outward success is nothing compared to what you know you have worked hard to achieve outside of the spotlight.
Sure, I work multiple jobs, long and late hours, and know how to save up my money for future endeavors. That doesn’t mean squat when it comes to being successful. That just displays diligence. When I was in college, I studied Journalism and Communications. Collegiate journalism courses typically focus on newswriting and reporting. So obviously those were the types of jobs I applied for upon graduation. NEWSFLASH: I haven’t done a thing with newswriting since college. I find myself writing what I feel, what I see, what is trending, what is popular, and what interests me and others. I write for multiple online platforms, and I’ve recently been hired part-time with two prestigious companies based on the writing portfolio I have developed since graduation. And I thoroughly enjoy what I do. Success means living your life for yourself and not to please other people.
And finally, we learn to love ourselves like no one else can. It’s as simple as this: you can’t learn to love someone else without showing yourself the same compassion. Grow to love every part of your being, from your imperfections and quirks to your beauty and successes. You will find yourself with a better outlook on life and a montage of positivity and opportunity in your direction.
“None of the world’s problems will have a solution until the world’s individuals become thoroughly self-educated.” Buckminster Fuller hit the nail on the head with this one. As cliché as it may sound, we must change ourselves in order to change the world. If we learn the right things on our own and teach ourselves to change how we live, it will be amazing what strides we can make in groups. We just have to invest in ourselves the same ways we would invest in the world.