Why I Don’t Regret Transferring Schools For A Guy Who Broke My Heart

I thought long distance made our relationship suck but turns out it was just him.

It’s always a little uncomfortable when people ask me “So why did you transfer after first year?” And while there were so many contributing factors, I’d be lying if I said my boyfriend at the time had nothing to do with it.

My boyfriend and I had started dating in high school. I was having a really rough senior year and he was my best friend. Before we were dating, I knew he had a crush on me but I never acted on it. Finally, after reading all of those posts about how girls always go after the wrong guy while the right one is wiping away their tears, I went for it at the end of high school.

Now, my decision for which college I would attend was complicated. I went to a college that I had never planned on going to for their dance program, simply because I was surprised that I got in. I knew that if I didn’t at least give it a shot, I would regret it for the rest of my life.

Turns out, I hated it. I hated it for so many reasons but looking back, a huge part of this dislike for my university was definitely due to the fact that I was visiting my boyfriend at his school at least once a month. Back then, I convinced myself that I hated my school and that was that. I wasn’t ready to give it a second chance.

My relationship wasn’t doing so hot either. Being long distance was awful, I missed him all the time…largely because he was from home and I missed home a lot. But mostly, I dreaded the exhausting trip back and forth between schools. Two busses, the subway, a train ride, and a cab between each campus – it was hell. Our relationship took a downward turn and I simply assumed it was because we were apart.

So, I went through all the steps to transfer universities and of course I chose to switch to my boyfriend’s school. I was on top of the world. Then, what I thought at the time was the worst possible thing, he dumped me the summer before the switch. But it was too late, I was enrolled in my new school and I had to go.

Two days after our breakup, I had to drive two hours to what would be my new apartment and set up my room where I would be living with girls who were basically strangers. You could say I was overwhelmed. In fact, I was miserable. Here I was, at a school that I knew was small, and the only people I knew were my boyfriend and his friends. I was going through a difficult breakup surrounded by a group of people who I barely knew and who barely knew me. Their first impression of me was this moody girl who clearly didn’t want to be there. Despite my best efforts to put on a brave face, they probably just thought I was a bitch.

So after spending my first year of university missing my boyfriend, it looked like I would spend my first year at my new school dreading my decision to switch.

I spent the first few months trying to put myself out there and trying to meet new people, but I felt like I didn’t have a solid group of friends to turn to. I was always trying to be around people but I felt completely alone. It seemed like everyone had already made their friends in residence and I missed my chance.

Fast forward to second semester where I met the most inviting group of friends in the world. I didn’t feel like an outsider and after the first night I met them, I hung out with them every day from then on. We spent that summer hanging out, even though I lived hours away from them in my hometown. And through them I met the coolest guy who would eventually become my boyfriend.

Because I kept trying and I didn’t give in to the temptation to completely isolate myself and just move back home, I met an amazing group of people. And thanks to these wonderful friends, what could’ve been a horrible situation turned into the best thing that ever happened to me.

In the future I will probably think twice before making a decision based on a guy. However, I can speak from experience when I say that even if things don’t go relatively close to how you planned, be confident that everything will work out in the end.

Featured image via freestocks on Unsplash

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