Starting Over: Saying Goodbye To The Only Place You’ve Ever Called Home

I grew up thinking that I’ll have forever to share with you. Through all the years I have spent wandering your surface, I have begun to memorize each of your corners, each crevice, and each bend on the road. There are even spaces that I can quickly recognize just by looking back at the memories I have in it – both the good and the bad ones.

You serve as the box that contains every single thing that’s precious to me; all the schools I’ve ever been to, the places where I met my friends, and the spots where my family and I have spent our time in. You literally hold my entire lifetime. And I’m sorry that I’ll have to leave you for a while.

Please, don’t ever think that it’s because I don’t find you worthwhile any more. And don’t even think for a second that it’s because my love for you has long gone. Know that I’m doing this for myself and myself alone. I need to figure out my life right now and, unfortunately, I don’t think staying on your safe grounds will help me accomplish that.

I grew up thinking that you were my safe haven. And, I guess, that’s the sole reason why I decided to depart from you. The sense of security you’ve always made me feel is something I once needed, but it’s not what I call for right now. I want to be free of you. Because, somehow, I know that this would help me to grow and emerge into someone who can stand up on her own two feet.

Your warmth may have made me feel protected, but I am in dire need of something else this time; something you can’t provide me, unfamiliarity. Let me wander, let me question, let me fret about new directions. Let me be afraid of stuttering at facing the unknown, let me crave hearing my own language, let me do things I never thought I would do. My point is, I want you to let me learn a whole new different world, but I guarantee that even with all the new knowledge I will acquire, I will never unlearn you.

Yours is the face that I’ve come to be acquainted with since day one and to think that I’ll soon have to wake up looking at a strange new world makes my heart race like no other. I’m sure, just by imagining it, that there will be a lot of moments where I’ll miss you and all the people who I will have to leave, too. But I know you’ll take care of them how you took care of me.

I’m sorry that things have come to this. I hope you’ll understand why I have to go off and discover a place that’s, sadly, not close by, and please keep in mind that whatever happens, you will always be the place I’ll call home.

To my hometown, keep your doors open for me, will you? I’ll see you again soon.

Featured Image Via Pexels.



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