Being a woman has never been an easy task. If our bodies aren’t being policed by old white men that can’t point out a uterus on an anatomical poster, then our intelligence and capability are being scrutinized in every aspect of our lives.
Women are amazing. We give birth. We bleed between 5-7 days every month and we still manage to kick ass. But just because we can show up everybody while on our periods doesn’t mean that being productive while menstruating is fun for all parties involved. Maintaining our reputation in the workplace and balancing the hormonal undertaking at the same time is no easy feat to accomplish. Here are 9 ways the #PeriodProductivityStruggle shows up in a woman’s life:
- There is an inherent conundrum with getting dressed while on your period. You want to look flawless because you feel like shit, but you have zero desire to wear form-fitting clothing.
- Skipping the gym sounds like a good idea at first, but guilt makes you go anyway. Whilst there, you suffer from paranoia that you’re leaking every three seconds and you’re sweating heavily, and you absolutely hate the way you feel like a wet, bloated marshmallow.
- Surprise cramps are the worst. You’re usually giving out instructions or chatting with someone when one hits you like a sucker punch to the uterus.
- For reasons unknown, alcohol seems to hit you harder. So that glass of wine during lunch may take the edge off your stress for the rest of the workday. When you come home from the office, you’ll probably strip in the living room and drink from the bottle.
- Bae will say something stupid at some point during the evening. If you’re putting together final things to prep for work the next day, or writing a shopping list for the Girls’ Night you’re hosting that weekend, he’ll piss you off. This is usually when they’re banished to the grocery store to get tampons and chocolate.
- You’re snacking all day long. It’ll be something sweet, followed by something salty, and then you’ll need something sweet again. It never ends. You get sh*t done, but you’ll probably be holding a cookie in one hand and typing with the other.
- The slightest, most inconsequential things piss you off. Something stupid like your shoe being untied or a grammar mistake in the report you just printed off will have you flying into a rage. You don’t handle idiots well. A lot of women’s anger is linked directly to their tear ducts, so you’ll probably cry at some point, which will make you even angrier.
- You are stupidly horny. Everything bae does is attractive and annoying in equal measure. You can’t tell if you want to sleep with him or kick him out of the house. Him doing laundry should not be that sexy.
- You can never get comfortable. Your back hurts. Your boobs are sore. Your cramps are inconsistent and awful. You surreptitiously check for leaks every twenty minutes. You spend the entire day resentful of the office dress code. You spend all day fidgeting in your office chair, but still manage to outshine all the bros in your department with your work ethic.
Women deserve all kinds of praise for soldiering on even when they’re exceedingly uncomfortable. It sucks that women aren’t allowed a week off every month to sit at home, but the show must go on. Being a productive member of society when all you want to do is sleep or eat chocolate is a difficult task. Be proud of all that you’ve accomplished – even when it feels like your body has turned against you.