Creeping Is Caring: The 10 Levels Of Social Media Stalking

Let’s be honest, we all do it. In the day of over-sharing and sketchy bathroom selfies, we’re able to digitally document our own lives and follow the lives of others. Social media has given us the power to have an in-depth insight into the lives of those around us. While you’ll never publicly admit it, you know that sometimes you use the magical powers of social media for evil. (Or, should I say for creepiness?)

Stalking our crushes over social media has become a routine for any love-struck individuals out there. It can be even more thorough than a criminal record check. While a routine skim of your love interest’s Facebook profile is the norm, there are multiple levels of just how creepy you can get with it. Here is the official classification of the levels of stalking your crush on social media.

Level 1: Find them on Facebook

This is normal, maybe even expected. Go ahead and send them a friend request if you haven’t already.

Level 2: Search for their other social media profiles


If you really want to get to know someone you’re going to find their Twitter, Instagram, and SoundCloud profiles. Bonus points if you check out their LinkedIn profile!

Level 3: Look at their photos & posts from 2009

This really isn’t that creepy. If anything, it’s to be expected. It’s entertaining to see how much puberty can do for a person. Just be careful to keep your finger away from the ‘Like’ button. You don’t want your cover exposed.

Level 4: Creep on their friends’ profiles

It’s getting weird, but you have to see what kind of people they surround themselves with. Friends can say a lot about a person.

Level 5: Check out their ex girlfriends/boyfriends’ profiles

If you don’t do this, then you’re not doing social media right. You have to know what kind of competition you have? At least that’s what you say to yourself to make it seem less creepy.

Level 6: Find their distant relatives’ profiles

Checking out their mom or dad’s Facebook profile is one thing, but stalking their cousin Stavros from Greece whom they’ve never actually met in real life is another thing.

Level 7: Find their personal blog

Kudos! A personal blog takes some expert stalking skills to come across. Unless you found it through the Facebook page they have advertising it. Then that counts as a Level 2.

Level 8: Read that personal blog on a daily basis

Is it really that creepy if they posted this stuff on the Internet? I mean, they put it online knowing people will read it. Plus, you’re going to need to know what stuff they’re into for your first date.

Level 9: Create fake profiles in order to talk to or follow them

This may be creepy, but it’s also very resourceful if you’re trying to get to know someone. It’s also helpful if you want to follow them on Instagram, but you don’t want them to know that you’re following them. You’re sneaky.

Level 10: Create fake profiles in order to talk to or follow their family members and friends

Yeah, this is just downright creepy. I can’t find any excuses to justify this. If you find yourself at Level 10, please consider taking a cleanse from social media. It will do you some good.

There you have it; the 10 levels of stalking your crush on social media. You probably won’t stalk every love interest the same way, just as you won’t love every person the same way. If you do find yourself creeping your crush – or anyone, really – on social media, rest assured that everyone does it.

Featured image via Tim Mossholder on Unsplash


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