Why The Fear Of Rejection Is Life-Limiting

It is commonly known that everything we want is on the other side of fear. Everything worth having in life doesn’t come easy. The perfect job isn’t going to land on your lap and the man of your dreams isn’t going to just waltz up to your front door and confess his love to you. If you believe otherwise, you’re not only naïve but you’re setting yourself up for a life filled with disappointment.

One of the basic necessities that we aim to feel in life is acceptance and therefore rejection is the worst possible thing. It often comes at a time where we are at our best – making the fall even more unbearable to deal with. It forces us to re-examine all the risks we were so happy to take before the rug was pulled from beneath us. It is at our highest points that we feel confident, strong and ready enough to take risks – and if they don’t work out, we feel a painful disappointment.

The fear of rejection resonates with us in all parts of our life, both professional and personal – truth is, it will always hold us back, affecting our personal happiness IF we let it.

Whether you’ve been stood up on a first date, didn’t receive a call from the guy who swore he’d phone, or if you’ve been dumped for another person, we’ve all felt that gut-wrenching feeling. Once you’ve realized he wasn’t the guy for you and you’ve sworn to your girlfriends that you are “so totally over it”, your behavior with your next partner will change without you realizing.

They say that the first time you fall in love and have your heartbroken can determine your behavior for the rest of your life.

If he broke your heart, your initial reaction is to guard and protect yourself from ever being rejected again– but then you’re stopping yourself from the relationships that could enhance your life in ways you couldn’t imagine.

Sure you can go through life like that, with a wall 10 inches thick around your heart (so many of us do) and yes, likelihood is you won’t experience rejection again, because you won’t let anyone in. The problem with that is that you could be missing out on something amazing.

Don’t live your life being guarded because of the heartless actions of your ex, because then you’re letting him win. While being cautious when entering in to relationships is a necessity, being guarded is not. It’s unhealthy and just an extension of your deep-rooted fear of refusal.

It’s almost inevitable that at one stage or another in our careers, we’re all going to experience it too. Job applications will get torn up, interviews will be unsuccessful and you’ll be told that you’re ‘not what they are looking for,’ ‘under qualified’ or simply ‘not good enough. If after one ‘no’ you refuse to put yourself through another job interview ever again you’ll spend your life unemployed, unsatisfied and unmotivated.

Getting knocked down and being told you’re ‘not the one’ in both your personal and professional life are, unfortunately, all part of the journey. Life isn’t always plain sailing, and people really are weak and naïve to realistically think that it is.

To quote the words of Tubthumping’s one hit wonder… ‘I get knocked down and I get up again,’ that is pretty much the mantra to a life of happiness and success. It’s essential to get back up again and prove people wrong. Prove to the ex that he made a mistake (he’ll realize one day) and be so successful that the people who rejected your job application kick themselves.

Don’t fear rejection, instead see it as a promise that something better is just around the corner. After all, when one door closes another one opens, and it’s almost always guaranteed to be one that will make you realize exactly why it didn’t work out in the first place.

Featured image via Barta IV on Flickr 


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