Why My Outfit Doesn’t Give You Permission To Touch Me

“My body, my choice.”

This phrase has been said by women for years, but on Friday night it truly spoke to me. I have never been touched by a man who I didn’t give consent to. I have always heard stories of men taking advantage of women when they are drinking, but the stories I’ve heard have been from the news. I’ve never heard it come from someone I knew, and it never happened to me.

Who knew a drunken night at a club would leave me to write something about you. I have never spoken to you once, and I still haven’t said a word to you. You are a stranger. Some may say I’m being overdramatic, but, try walking in my shoes.

If it happened to you, you would never wear a skirt again.

I shouldn’t have to stop wearing something to protect my own body. If I was naked, that still does not give you permission to touch me. I was dancing with my girlfriends, and you decided to go behind me and linger your fingers up my skirt and underneath my underwear.

When I felt it, I turned around and hit you. I have never hit anybody. Do you get that? You touched my body, my property, and you caused me so much pain that I actually hit you. Not physical pain, emotional pain.

I didn’t realize Friday night would cause me to cry so much. I don’t know who you are, or what you’re capable of but I pray you don’t touch another girl. Whether she is wearing a skirt, a dress, jeans, or if she’s naked do not lay a finger on her unless you have consent. There is not an excuse. There is no reason. I am the boss of my own body, and you are the boss of your own. You cannot go around and touch people.

If you do it again, I hope she reports you to the police.

If someone grabs you in any way, if he does what happened to me, it’s sexual assault. Report it. My biggest mistake was not doing it the night it happened. I waited a day because I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t know how it would impact me.

The first question the police asked me is if we were dancing together. The answer is no. His back was faced to mine. I was dancing with my friends, having a girls night, and he decided to intrude with only his fingers. But, constable, if he was dancing with me does that make it okay for him to touch me inappropriately? Fuck no.

Remember, this is sexual assault. It’s not okay. No one has the privileged to touch you unless it’s consensual. If it happens to you from a stranger, chances are he does it to a lot of women, so please, report it. Don’t let it keep on happening.

Featured image via Konstantinos Papadopoulos on Unsplash


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