Sex may be a typical human experience, but college dorms are an atypical environment for it. Basically, shit gets complicated: students are cockblocked by RA room checks, walked in on by suitemates, “sexiled” to the common room—just to name a few.
And yet, our sex lives live on. More than two-thirds of college students are sexually active. And that’s not taking into account solo masturbation, the most common sexual behavior among students.
Sexual experiences in a college dorm come with a range of factors beyond what is taught in sex ed classrooms, portrayed by stylized movie scenes, or openly talked about amongst peers. But being aware of these factors can lead to a healthier and happier sex life. So let’s break some of them down.
Doing It on a Dorm Bed
Getting it on in a dorm bed generally isn’t ideal. It’s impressive how much noise such a small mattress can make. Not to mention the several-foot drop that, if someone falls off, could certainly kill the mood—and cause some injuries.
The limited space forces partners to get creative or go back to basics. Some positions—such as missionary, lying down doggy, and the lotus position—tend to be more successful than others. They are suited for a smaller mattress and minimize noise.
When deciding what activities to do, it’s worth challenging the preconceived notion that sex is defined by vaginal and/or anal penetration. There are many other items on the menu. This ranges from kissing to manual stimulation of genitals and erogenous zones, mutual masturbation to oral sex, utilizing sex toys to dry humping, and more. Many times, these are thought of as an appetizer, but who says they can’t be the main course? When the definition of sex broadens, so does your likelihood of finding pleasur. That’s especially when operating in a constrained environment like a dorm.
Volume Control
Pleasure can draw out all sorts of noises, and people aren’t always comfortable with being overheard while having sex—or overhearing others having an intimate moment.
One way to work around this is to play music. Individuals and partners can create designated playlists to set the mood and drown out whatever sounds they’re making. It’s definitely important to make sure the music fits the moment. Play around with genres and tempos to find what suits your taste best.
Even with music playing, it doesn’t hurt to minimize noise, but that isn’t necessarily a negative. Trying to stay quiet can make the experience more exciting!
Cleanup
In general, making a mess can lead to conflicts in a shared space. And if the mess is of a sexual nature, things may get even more complicated.
One of the best ways to make sure a post-sex cleanup goes smoothly is to prepare beforehand. It’s worthwhile to have paper towels or regular towels on standby to take care of your space, yourself, and your partner(s) after a sexual encounter. Towels can also be used preemptively, laid down on the bed to protect the sheets.
Another aspect of cleanup is disposing of condoms. Always make sure they get wrapped up—perhaps back in the wrapper, definitely with some extra tissues or paper towels—and end up in the trash.
And it never hurts to open a window once things wind down, to help air out the room a bit.
Aftercare
Clean-up doesn’t have to mean the end of a sexual encounter. Aftercare, also called post-sex intimacy, is important on a biological level. Be that cuddling, talking, bringing your partner a glass of water, or simply resting next to each other, this extra effort helps recalibrate the hormonal and chemical fluctuation that occur during and after sex.
Scheduling your sex life around your roommate’s classes or asking for an extra fifteen minutes of privacy may seem like a hassle, but when it’s possible, it’s certainly worthwhile, since it shows respect for shared space and everyone involved.
With that being said, go forth and fornicate, my friends!
Featured image via Ron Lach on Pexels
