I was given the chance to get my hands on a book that was released on July 29th of this year by Katie Simon (they/them): “Tell Me Whazt You Like: An Honest Discussion of Sex and Intimacy After Sexual Assault.” After reading this book about sexual intimacy and everything in between, I had the opportunity to interview them and gather further details about the stories within.
How did you find people who were interested in sharing their experiences with you for this book?
Katie Simon: Honestly, it came from many different sources. Some people discovered me through articles I wrote on various topics, or they simply knew I was working on this book. I used subject/matter pools with resources to find participants. It was definitely challenging to find those willing to discuss sexual topics or trauma, or both. However, I will say that fifty percent of this book features queer individuals, which was amazing to see. Many of the interviewees used their trauma to learn more about their sexuality and grow, as you’ll see throughout this book. This book’s main goal is to work toward changing sexual culture.
What was your favorite/most enjoyable part about it?
Katie: The main part, I’d say, was the research phase, not just the interviews but also figuring out the structure of the book, including stats, demographics, and how it all connected. It was about planning the flow. Another key responsibility was managing the index. Seeing how the index was created from lists of topics or by going to a survivor’s name and learning about their journey was surreal. It was satisfying to know you’d be able to find information easily from it.
What was an unexpected thing you learned about publishing?
Katie: Starting can be tough; there are many things you don’t know at the beginning. I tried to educate myself as much as possible by talking to people in the publishing industry and researching timelines and the entire process. Taking the initiative to learn the ins and outs will definitely make it easier to speak the same language.
Do you plan to write something similar later, or will it be completely different?
Katie: As this is my first published book, I’m considering writing another one focused on themes like sexuality or trauma moving forward. I don’t write fiction, so it’s unlikely to be a novel. This story falls under the genre of ‘interview-based narrative nonfiction.’
Do you keep in touch with any of the people you interviewed?
Katie: Not necessarily; some were interviewed over several years. However, some media opportunities helped bring some of those survivors and their stories to light.
What’s a fun fact that most people don’t know about you?
Katie: I completed my master’s degree in England and lived in London for a year. It was an exciting literary scene, and I learned a great deal from being in such a different environment. I can confidently say that living there is a very different experience from just reading about it.
If you were to recommend this book to someone who hadn’t read the back cover and only saw the front, how would you describe it to pique their interest?
Katie: This book is chock-full of insights from sexual assault survivors about having sex and building better relationships. What works for survivors can also benefit others. The principles of consent and partner communication apply not only to survivors but also to the broader population.
Consent and boundaries are huge variables that are highlighted in this book. Would you say there are any other factors?
Katie: Absolutely. There needs to be more sexual education, especially for dating app platforms, in schools, and in general. Currently, there isn’t enough focus on this, but sexual assault (SA) survivors are developing concepts on how it should be taught. It’s especially important to consider trauma-sensitive approaches, educating those who know very little about the subject or have not experienced trauma, as well as those who have.
Any last thoughts to share?
Katie: I personally think this book would be an excellent choice for a book club. There’s something for everyone, featuring a diverse cast of characters within the story.
Featured image courtesy of the author
Ler esse tipo de relato me faz lembrar de momentos em que tudo parecia pesado demais e nenhuma conversa ajudava. Quando me vi num desses períodos, uma das poucas coisas que me ajudaram a desligar a mente foi encontrar algo que exigisse pouco e distraísse de verdade. Acabei caindo em plinko mz e, por mais simples que pareça, os jogos acabaram me trazendo alívio. Ainda mais jogando a partir de Moçambique, os bônus me deram vantagem logo no começo. Foi uma forma inesperada de criar espaço mental pra processar outras coisas!