My Relationship With Makeup Has Changed & That’s OK

My relationship with makeup has been complicated, to say the least.

As a child, I always looked forward to wearing makeup for piano and dance performances. Then, as a young adult, I thought that I could possibly pursue a career as a makeup artist. Now, though, I have an evolving relationship with makeup.

I still remember purchasing my first makeup products.

My sister and I headed to Shoppers’ Drug Mart, where I grabbed a concealer and a gel eyeliner. I looked up a few makeup tutorials and decided to give the new products a try. When I started practicing with my new products, I realized how therapeutic doing makeup can be.

Doing my makeup felt like it opened a new world for me. It allowed me to express my emotions, even when I didn’t feel like sharing them out loud. After applying makeup, I felt more confident, like I could conquer the world and tackle any obstacle that stood in my way. 

However, my opinion of makeup changed after I enrolled in cosmetology school.

As I took more classes, I realized that perhaps, makeup is not as glamorous as I once thought it was. Makeup began to feel less like a symbol of power and identity and more like a weapon to conceal insecurities. My opinion on makeup further worsened after I graduated. I never established good relationships with my instructors, which make freelance gigs hard to secure. 

When the COVID-19 pandemic began, I decided to stop wearing makeup. I saw no point in wearing it, so I donated most of my collection. Attending cosmetology school felt like a skeleton in my closet, and I wanted to erase the past. Wearing makeup seemed like a reminder that obtaining a degree in makeup artistry wasn’t worth my time. 

For the next couple of years, I rarely touched my remaining makeup products. Every time I did, the horrid memories of taking makeup classes haunted me. 

But then, the cycle started to change. 

I wanted a summer internship, and I began wearing makeup to my interviews because I wanted to feel the confidence that makeup once brought me. Before meeting with recruiters, I applied concealer to cover my blemishes, added some definition to my eyebrows, and topped the look off with a fresh coat of mascara.

Even after I secured a position, I continued wearing makeup in my professional life. I’ve noticed that wearing makeup definitely makes a difference for me — I feel more confident and capable when I know that I put effort into applying makeup. I also feel much more ready to tackle difficult workplace tasks. Wearing makeup at work even creates a boundary between my professional life and my personal life because I take my makeup off when I get home.

Now, I’m more confident in expressing myself with makeup.

It took me a while to feel comfortable applying the products and finally find my own style. But I now love makeup again and am ready to experiment with new styles too. 

If you also have a complicated relationship with makeup, know that it still has the potential to change. If you’d like to get back into wearing makeup, do it! Take the process one step at a time, and see if your old passion reemerges. Makeup can be empowering and fun, and it’s never too late to find that confidence again. 

Featured Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash.