Lately, life has not been as easy as I would expect it to be. I felt like I was right where I was meant to be for a while, but now it feels like I am uncomfortable with where I am. It feels like another point in my life where I felt this exact same way, and it made me realize something.
A few years ago, I had a job I absolutely loved. (Shout out to my old coworkers who might be reading this; still sending you all so much love!) I was part of a community that became a village for me during one of the hardest times of my life. While I loved what I did and the people I worked with, it became increasingly more difficult to be there. The job itself became more intense, my coworkers left or were being moved into different settings, and I didn’t enjoy it the way I did before. I found myself calling out, dreading coming in, when,at the beginning, it was all I wanted to do.
There came a point during my last year at that job where something happened, and I had to make a decision. I could either stay and remain miserable, or take a leap of faith and try something new.
I made the scary decision to leave, and I am so glad that I did.
When I look back at it now, I think about how much my life has changed – the opportunities I have been given, the people who have walked into my life and changed it, and the lives I have been able to impact since leaving. It made me realize how necessary that change was.
The way it happened was hard. I was essentially pushed out without warning, and the pain that came with that was real. But honestly, if it had not happened the way it did, I am not sure I ever would have left on my own. I was comfortable. I was good at what I did, and I genuinely loved the people around me. But there comes a point where familiarity stunts your growth. Where the comfort of what you know keeps you from what you are actually meant to have. I do not know where I would be if I had stayed. But I do not think I would be happy, and I do not think I would have grown.
So here I am now, feeling that same restlessness again, standing at a crossroad.
Do I stay where I am and try to keep growing? Or will I become stuck if I stay much longer? Could there still be room for growth here? Maybe. But I am also watching things shift around me in real time. And I am not sure how much longer I am meant to stay in this particular spot.
Like before, I love where I am. This situation came into my life during another difficult time and gave me a light at the end of the tunnel when I needed it most. But now, it feels like life is rearranging things again, the way it always seems to when it is trying to redirect you somewhere better. What felt like a destination is starting to feel more like a stepping stone.
And maybe that is okay.
Maybe that is actually the point. Not every place you land is meant to be permanent. Some situations are meant to carry you through a season, build you up, and give you exactly what you need for that chapter. And then, gently – or, sometimes, not so gently – it pushes you toward the next one. Growth has never been comfortable. It has never arrived quietly or conveniently. It shows up as restlessness, the slow creeping feeling that you are meant for something more. And the discomfort of outgrowing a space that once fit you perfectly.
And as much as this is scary, I have done this before. I have stood at this exact crossroad, made the leap, and landed somewhere better than I could have imagined. So whatever comes next – whether I stay or go – I trust that this discomfort is not a sign that something is wrong. It is a sign that something is coming.
And I think that is worth being a little uncomfortable for.
Featured image via Piotr Arnoldes on Pexels
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