For as long as I can remember, summer has always felt like the perfect moment to reinvent myself. When I was younger, summer meant no school and endless hours of free time. I spent that time dreaming up a better version of myself, wishing for anything but the life that I had. Now, as an adult, I have a lot less free time, but those dreams of a different, seemingly better life and a glow-up have not stopped.
When I close my eyes and think of summer, I envision a version of myself that could never truly exist. She’s a woman with flawless hair, flawless skin, and a flawless body. She’s a manufactured mirage, a standard of beauty that society has imposed on us. I’ve spent my life striving to become her, when in reality, I should have been working harder to be myself.
Social media, in particular, tries so hard to make you believe that all you need to be happy is a glow-up.
Did your relationship end? A glow-up will make them regret leaving you. Does no one want to date you? A little summer glow-up is all you need to find someone. You are constantly being told that the key to being happy and improving your life lies in one simple fact: do not be yourself.
After all, a glow-up means making improvements. You make all of these big changes, and then suddenly, you have everything you’ve ever wanted. Except that is never how it actually works. Maybe you dye your hair a color you don’t love, but you’re told others will, and people compliment it. But are the compliments life-changing? Do you really feel better with a few highlights?
I don’t think you do. I know I haven’t.
When you work so hard to make your exterior look like what you think others want you to be, you lose your true self.
You may forget that wearing specific colors can make you feel happy. You forget how you felt before you started worrying about the way everyone else perceived you. You forget who you were before the difficult things you’ve been through happened. You try to trick yourself into thinking that healing is achieved through a new haircut, blush, and lip filler, rather than looking inward and nurturing yourself.
Now, that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with treating yourself to a bit of glow-up now and then. However, I don’t think we should continue to sell them as the magical solution to all of life’s problems. You don’t need to change everything about your appearance to live a happier life.
Summer just started, and already I’ve found myself frustrated with my appearance.
I keep thinking that if I try a new style of eyeliner or make myself just a little bit blonder, I will finally be happy. I keep trying these things, and every time I do, I am still disappointed. I keep having these glow-ups, but nothing in my life actually changes.
And that is because I need to do the inner work. I’ve spent the last year trying to get back to myself, and slowly, I believe I am getting there. I don’t feel it every day, but there are days when I look in the mirror, and I feel like myself again. I have been wearing more colors, just as I used to, and I can see bits of light returning to my life.
Was it a summer glow-up that got me to this point? No. I made a decision last summer that I needed to get back to myself and to shed the things and people that had been making me feel so lost.
I’ve returned to myself, and that has made all the difference. I didn’t need a summer ‘glow-up’ to do so. What I needed was to accept and love myself just as I am.
Featured image via ROMAN ODINTSOV on Pexels
I’ve chased the idea of a “summer glow-up,” thinking external changes would fix internal struggles. But real growth came beverly hills psychiatrist when I focused on mental health and self-acceptance instead. A new look can boost confidence, sure—but lasting change starts from within. That’s where I’ve found the most meaningful transformation.