There are moments in life that change the way you see people forever. Moments where the mask slips, and you catch a glimpse of someone’s true colors. It’s like a knife to the heart, sharp and sudden, and it leaves a scar that never quite fades. I’ve been on the receiving end of that blade; for a long time, I let the wound bleed. But now, I’m ready to close that chapter and leave the knife where it fell.
I remember standing there,
letting you say cruel words that poured from your mouth,
spiteful and sharp, aimed to hit where it hurt most.
You knew where to strike—
like you could see the scars already,
wanted to see how deep the knife could cut.
Would it reach the bone?
Would words make me bleed out?
And would I take the blade and drive it back into you?
As much as I wanted to, I didn’t.
I let the knife stay where you left it,
its cold edge pressed against my heart,
because there was a truth in it.
But it wasn’t the truth you thought it was.
It wasn’t that your words were right,
but that they cut through the last illusion I had of you.
Taking that knife out and throwing it back
wouldn’t have stopped the wound from bleeding—
it would have made a bigger mess.
Instead of one hurt person, there would have been two,
and I would have looked like the one who started it.
I think you reached for that knife because you felt cornered,
because you knew you were in the wrong,
and hurting me felt like your only way out.
However, it only caused more damage.
You took the knife because it was all you had left,
because you were too scared to face yourself,
so you lashed out, hoping to make me crumble,
to drag me down with you.
But the thing about a knife fight is—
the one who throws the first blade
is often the one who bleeds the longest.
And I might still feel the sting,
but I can stand here and say
I didn’t let you turn me into you.
I’m leaving the knife where you left it,
letting the wound scar over,
and walking away with my head high,
because I’d rather carry a scar
than a blade I never needed in the first place.
I don’t know if you ever think about the damage you did, or if you even care.
Maybe you’ve convinced yourself you were justified, that you had a right to the hurt you caused. But I’m not carrying your knife anymore. I’m letting the wound scar over and walking away; I’d rather heal than hold onto the weight of someone else’s rage. I’m done bleeding for people who never bothered to clean up the mess they made.
Featured image via Tim Foster on Unsplash
Wish everyone of us always strong enough to overcome all difficulties. Everything will be OK 8 Ball Billiards.
I know exactly what you mean, I’ve been through moments where someone’s true side just hits you out of nowhere. I ended up finding https://vincispin.fr/bonus and at first it was just a way to distract myself after that kind of disappointment. Playing there helped me focus on something else and brought back a bit of lightness. It’s not a miracle fix, but it really makes it easier to breathe and start moving on, even if just for a few hours.