As adults, we typically put most of our emotional energy into whoever we are or would like to be sleeping with. Between daydreaming, planning our outfits when we casually run into them, and stalking their Instagram feed, these people take up a lot of time. The time that could be better spent somewhere else. No, not on yourself — even though a little bit of that is necessary to maintain your sanity — but on your best friends.
Too often, we keep our friends around as a source of entertainment. Our time together is spent mainly drunk at bars, where we claim to have a fun night out. But we’re all just looking for someone to hook up with.
It’s an easy pattern to fall into. But one that can make you miss a huge opportunity to bring a lot of awesome, platonic (except for the occasional intoxicated peck) love into your life.
Friends can bring you so much joy. They can open you up to just as many experiences and opportunities as a romantic relationship can. They can support and uplift you and be there for you — all without the pressure of staying together forever or breaking up.
That makes friendships so easy and fun: there isn’t a huge label keeping you together. You don’t have to constantly update your Facebook with a photo of your friends for people to think you’re still friends.
Friends require less work to keep around — but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put some work in.
We put so much pressure on our romantic relationships because we feel like it’s the only place we can get really close to someone. We think it’s the only way to feel loved and wanted.
But you can have that without a relationship. You can have that with your friends.
So instead of spending a lot of time worrying about what present you will get the guy you like for his birthday, why not throw your friend a party? Or, instead of surprising your boyfriend with a bunch of romantic stuff (that he probably doesn’t care about as much as you do), why not surprise your friend with coffee from her favorite place?
The more effort you put into other people (especially people who actually care about you), the happier you will feel. Trust me.
Originally written by Emily Blackwood on YourTango
Featured image via Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash