Over half a decade ago, I graduated high school. My parents were extremely proud and congratulated me on my achievements.
But little did they know about the challenges I faced before receiving my diploma. I dreaded going to school every day; I was regularly targeted by students and teachers alike. During class, my teachers would constantly show everyone my test scores. I felt humiliated and just wanted to sit in a corner.
Some days, I would walk home and lie in my bedroom, feeling empty inside. Something just felt so wrong at school, to the point where I felt uncomfortable sitting in the classroom.
After my graduation, I felt very bitter. And to add salt to the wound, the school mailed me the wrong diploma and graduation photo. I asked myself: How can they overlook a huge mistake?
A year later, I almost forgot about the challenges I faced. I enrolled in a new program, worked to achieve my other goals, and tried to rebuild myself.
These events from high school never came to my mind again until I decided to begin another program, after two other completed programs, which I thought I would enjoy.
When I took on a new placement opportunity, everything that happened in high school seemed to happen again. I remember feeling uncomfortable walking to the placement every day and felt wary of my surroundings since the beginning.
Then, one day, my supervisors tried to belittle me in front of clients. They would constantly ask me questions and use my responses against me. Later down the road, I discovered that they were telling everyone in the organization about how terrible of a student I was. This led to my termination, which I couldn’t process at first.
But later, I realized that the challenges I faced in my placement replicated those from high school. I then mentioned this observation to my partner, to which he replied:
“Damn, I’m sorry. It looks like stuff repeats itself.”
When I heard that statement, I lit up. After all, it’s true.
“It really shouldn’t repeat, though,” he later added.
I thought about the statement for a moment. Many events tend to repeat throughout our lives, whether those are friendship breakups, emotional rollercoasters, or failed courses. But we never ask ourselves what it means when such events repeat themselves.
Some argue that if challenges reoccur, it means that we aren’t learning from our mistakes.
While this may be the case for some situations, we shouldn’t always think of our challenges in this manner. Sometimes in life, even if we do learn and grow, we can’t control the external forces around us. We can’t control how others approach us and who we meet.
So, when history repeats itself, before looking at what you need to learn, understand that life is telling you that the path you’re on is not meant for you. After all, how can you perform your best when the environment you’re in is simply not meant to be? If it didn’t work out in the past, life is telling you to change courses, or else the same thing will happen.
Now, it’s not easy to tell whether an event will repeat itself.
It will take time for the patterns to emerge. But when they do, that’s when you know exactly that where you’re at isn’t the best place for you.
So, instead of life telling you to learn something from your previous lessons, life is actually telling you to break out of your routine. When you break your routine, you can get outside your comfort zone and explore your other talents. Perhaps, you’ll meet the right people and gather a better support system.
There will always be tough moments in life. But as soon as you recognize those, you will know you’re meant for something much better. And when past events unfold in front of your eyes, simply acknowledge that you opened the wrong door. Those wrong doors will eventually close. So, you have another chance to find the right path again.
Once you find the path meant for you, you won’t relive the past.
Featured image via MART PRODUCTION on Pexels
Hi. I’m so happy reading your article today and I feel strengthen and encouraged. Thank you for being thoughtful Enough to share.
Things that have occurred will likely happen again in some form or fashion. You might repeat past pain because you unconsciously want to make it right.
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