12 Easy Steps To Improve Your Marriage In 12 Days

marriage

Is your marriage in trouble?

If you want to fix your broken marriage, there’s a simple program you can start right now to begin the journey back to marital bliss. You can get your spouse involved or do it on your own. What do you have to lose?

Here’s how to fix your marriage in as few as 12 days.

Day 1: Go out together.

Many couples dealing with trouble in their marriage don’t have a wide variety of problems. More often than not, they’re dealing with just one issue: a lack of stimulation and connection.

If you and your partner struggle with this, don’t feel bad. It’s easy to get stuck in a rut and difficult to get out of one.

Suggest an outing for you and your spouse — even just a walk around the neighborhood together. Whatever you decide to do, take the opportunity to have some face-to-face time. Share the experience and have fun!

Day 2: Send a flirty text.

Believe it or not, flirting can actually help save your marriage. It’s common to stop flirting and teasing once you’re comfortable in your marriage, but if you want to maintain that electric energy, you need to make an effort to keep the spark alive.

Send your spouse just one flirty text during the day. It doesn’t take much — just be a little suggestive or naughty. Throw in a winky face if you’re worried you’re being too subtle.

Remember, the goal of flirting is to be funny and to turn your partner on. Have fun with your spicy texts!

Day 3: Make a list.

Get back in touch with what drew you to your partner in the first place. Grab a piece of paper and a pencil (or even your phone), and write down the things that first made you fall for your significant other. Why did you choose them?

After you finish that, write down the little things you noticed along the way that made you realize you wanted to spend the rest of your life with your partner.

This exercise will help you remember the good in your person and allow you to use those qualities to continue to improve your marriage.

Day 4: Surprise your partner.

Sadly, one thing many marriages have in common is a lack of excitement. Surprise your spouse in a big way to bring that excitement back into your marriage. Give them flowers or a small gift, or spend a night on the town.

Whatever you choose, make sure it’s something that your spouse wouldn’t suspect. Keep it a secret up until the last minute. Blindfolding your partner may feel cheesy, but it really can make this experience feel extra special.

Day 5: Kiss.

Pull your partner in when they least expect it, and lay one on them. So often, we become accustomed to a quick peck or a hug to show our partner how much we love them that we forget to go deeper. However, it’s important to foster the passion you had when you and your significant other first got together.

A lack of sex may be a problem in many marriages, but the bigger problem is often a lack of physical affection. Get your partner’s heart pumping with a big smooch.

Who says making out is only for teens?

Day 6: Do something challenging together.

When your marriage is going through a rough patch, you may do your best to avoid conflict. This can include removing any difficulty from your day-to-day life so that you and your spouse don’t have any reason to fight.

But challenges are an important part of life and relationships alike. When you and your partner tackle a difficult problem together, you build bonds that you’d never think were possible.

Your “challenge” can be as simple as doing a crossword puzzle or as complex as building a back deck. Think outside the box, and get out of your comfort zone. Use this as an opportunity for connection.

As you go through the challenge, build up your spouse so that they really feel supported. If you two can complete this task, your marriage will be better for it.

Day 7: Get your sexy on.

Reclaim the sexy side of your marriage. After a while, sex can become less frequent — but don’t toss it to the side!

If you have serious sexual problems in your marriage, talk it out or seek the help of a sex therapist. But if sexy times have just become a little stale, then a little spontaneity can make them exciting again.

Chances are, you know some things your spouse likes in the bedroom that you don’t do often. Now is the time to focus on their pleasure.

Day 8: Talk problems out.

Spend some real quality time with your spouse without cell phones, TV, or any other distractions. What you talk about during this time isn’t as important as making time in the first place.

If you’re having trouble, hash out some of the issues that you have. Keep it small-scale, and focus on sharing your feelings rather than passing judgment.

You may find that your partner resists this discussion at first. But if you can remain calm and positive, it really can make all the difference in how the conversation goes.

Rather than waiting for a fight to solve your problems, taking proactive measures can make conflict more manageable in the long run.

Day 9: Head down memory lane.

Remember the good times with your spouse. When you’ve been together for a long time, you have so much history that it can be easy to forget about the little moments.

Go through some old photo albums or text messages, and see what comes up for you. Find a cute picture of you and your spouse from years ago, and show them to brighten up their day. Connecting with your memories is as simple as that!

Day 10: Get over your frustration.

Living with another person can be extremely difficult. There are probably a million little things you wish they’d do differently — whether or not you bring them up.

These little annoyances may not seem like a huge deal, but they can build up and put a real strain on your marriage.

Therefore, give yourself permission to let small things go.

Do your partner forget to clean the hair out of your shower drain again? Does it seem like you’re always the one who takes out the garbage?

Tell yourself that this isn’t going to get to you anymore.

If your partner’s behavior is a serious problem, don’t give them a free pass. However, if it’s something small that you can’t seem to shake, now is the time to put this issue to bed for good.

Day 11: Check your “blind spots.

We all have “blind spots” in our lives and our marriages. Identify yours — and take a good, long look at them.

Relationship “blind spots” are those personality quirks of yours that create friction between you and your spouse.

They often create so much trouble because we actively avoid facing these parts of ourselves. To identify yours, listen to your partner’s feedback.

Some common relationship “blind spots” include:

  • Never saying sorry
  • Being stubborn or combative
  • Being critical
  • Shutting your partner out
  • Sending mixed messages

Some “blind spots” are more difficult to overcome than others.

Chances are, you’re not going to make them disappear overnight, but try to be aware of them going forward. Check yourself whenever a “blind spot” rears its ugly head.

Day 12: Focus on the future.

Look back at all that you’ve learned and experienced in the past 11 days, and reflect on what it means to you.

Then put it all behind you, and focus on what comes next. How are you going to maintain this kind of momentum in your relationship going forward?

Make plans and goals for your marriage so that you can keep moving forward. You can get involve your spouse or do this on your own, but make sure that you have measurable goals.

Whether your goal is an improved sex life or an end to a conflict, you’ve taken the first step in resolving it. Be proud of yourself and your partner!

Originally written by Brad Browning on YourTango.

Featured Photo by Hannah Olinger on Unsplash.

2 COMMENTS

  1. The best line I liked in the post is “Make plans and goals for your marriage so that you can keep moving forward. “This a very helpful post for a married couple.

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