Though I’m a big fan of ghosting abusive, manipulative, and controlling people, I’m also a firm believer that regular people do not deserve the ghosting treatment. Sadly, it seems like a ridiculous amount of people in the dating scene don’t think about it that way.
Considering how bad the dating scene is getting when it comes to ghosting, it makes sense to have a backup plan and to keep an eye out for Caspers in the making. A good backup plan is a stockpile of money and a hidden bottle of wine.
As far as keeping an eye out goes, watching for the following signs you’re being ghosted and the behaviors that indicate he’s going to bail.
1. You’ve noticed he’s very conflict-avoidant and can’t handle being seen as the “bad guy.”
This isn’t always a sign you’re being ghosted, per se, but it’s often the only thing you’ll notice in some cases. We all hear about relationships where “he seemed so happy,” but then vanished without a trace. If you notice he can’t have tough conversations with others, don’t be shocked if he won’t be able to have them with you.
2. His social media has a new friend and the dialogue they’re having is really heated.
True story: a lot of guys who ghost do so because they found someone else. If you notice signs of cheating starting to pop up, you might find yourself ghosted. In many cases, guys ghost because they can’t actually face the woman they cheated on and admit what they did wrong. (Cowards!)
3. You actually know you’re the other woman or have a serious feeling that you might be a side piece.
If you’re his affair partner, the chances of you being ghosted skyrockets. All it really takes is his wife or “main dish” finding out about you to make the ghosting happen.
4. While you’ve been around him, you’ve noticed he has impulse issues and mood swings.
Impulsive, unpredictable men are more likely to leave their girlfriends in a totally sudden, unpredictable way. Does this really surprise anyone? It shouldn’t.
5. He’s been getting increasingly distant, but doesn’t admit it.
Sometimes, it’s the subtle things. If you notice he doesn’t seem to want to talk to you as much as he used to, it could be a sign that he’s about to ghost. He may even deny his suddenly distant behavior too. After all, it’s not like ghosters are known for being emotionally intelligent communicators.
6. He works the same hours, but the money somehow just dried up.
If you’re in a long-term relationship, then you should be wary of this. Many guys who ghost after years will pull together their assets before they leave. So, they’d naturally spend less money on you.
7. You notice that he no longer invites you to company events or to see his relatives.
Most guys who are going to ghost or slow fade will start by making sure you’re not part of his social circle before he make the huge cut. This way, his friends are less likely to actually ask him why you’re no longer there.
8. The plans he makes are getting increasingly vague.
Now, admittedly, there are guys who will ghost even though they’ve literally just made plans to see a movie. But, from experience, I can tell you that they start acting like plans are an afterthought. If it seems like everything’s poorly cobbled together compared to how things used to be, this is a good sign he’s about to ghost.
9. You can’t help but feel like something is “off,” even though everything seems great.
A lot of people who have been ghosted admit that a feeling in their stomach is usually what makes them realize something bad is about to happen. If you’re getting a strange, underlying vibe, roll with it and prepare for the worst.
10. Your relationship hasn’t been the best lately.
Some relationships are just not good and, at times, people don’t know how to end things the right way. So, they end up ghosting. If you’re getting the feeling that he’s been wanting out, chances are that you will end up in a breakup, quite possibly by ghosting.
11. He’s “setting up the stage.”
Most people who are about to dump someone will do something to make it a little more acceptable. He may start talking about how busy he’s getting, take on more work, or even talk about how much everything is “stressing him out” while saying he needs to take “a break from it all.”
This is his way of setting up the stage for his ghosting act. And yes, you should confront him and break it off before he bothers.
12. Sex dwindled.
Sex life suffering? Well, that’s never a good sign. This often is a precursor to a breakup, especially when he’s about to ghost.
13. He’s done this before to others.
I believe that most people who ghost are repeat offenders. If he’s ghosted or otherwise done this kind of passive-aggressive garbage to others, there’s no saying he won’t do it to you. It’s never wise to believe you’re the exception to the rule!
14. You’re getting the vibe that he feels trapped with you, or that he’s having commitment issues.
People who ghost often do so because they feel they are trapped, smothered, and need to escape from a situation. Ghosting is easier than facing the music, so they choose that route rather than be the bigger person. If he’s acting smothered and tense, you may want to just cut things off with him.
15. You notice that he’s getting way more active on online dating sites or social media.
If he’s showing his life without you and talking to other girls, you best better believe he’s planning to head out the door.