In some cases, you might have been the rebound for that guy or girl, just someone to use to get over the end of their long-term relationship. Somehow they had failed to mention that, and you’re learning that for yourself days later when you see it on social media or hear from their supposed “ex” that they’re still together. In your head, you’re trying to decipher what it makes you in this situation. Because no, you didn’t cause the breakup. But you didn’t help the issue either because you knew nothing about it.
I’ve been there.
I had a one-night stand with an engaged guy, and I didn’t find out until after the fact. There were no red flags when we talked for two weeks. Nevertheless, I still go back through the events to see if I could’ve caught on sooner. I know I didn’t cause their relationship to end intentionally (and thank God this girl found out before she married him). But it still doesn’t help how I felt about the situation.
Talk about being the lowest of the low. Unknowingly, you were the side piece for less than twenty-four hours and didn’t realize it. On top of that, you’re trying to comprehend why someone would choose to cheat on their fiancé with you and then not explain themselves when you confront them. The number of emotions and the overwhelming humiliation you feel are valid and frustrating. To say I’ve officially lost my faith in “men” or relationships, for the time being, is an understatement. Labeling myself as nothing else but a “booty call” to satisfy someone else before they move on is so devastating.
With time, it does get easier. Time does slowly ease the pain, and the memories of your mistakes fade. One complicated mistake won’t define the rest of my life; even if right now, it’s still prevalent in my head. You have to give yourself grace and understand that it wasn’t intentional, and you’re not at fault for what happened. At the end of the day, know you are valued and worthy of someone a million times better than that person. They clearly didn’t see it, but someone else will.