In the age of online dating, there’s a question you need to ask yourself concerning your political affiliation: Should you add it to your dating profile?
While searching on a dating site a while back, I found a fascinating profile. His smile was nice, his photograph flattering. He appeared to have a stable career in a field that suggested that he was an interesting person.
He was educated, obviously intelligent, and witty. Every sentence he wrote about himself grabbed my attention… Until I reached his last comment.
It was the answer to a question that went something like, “What are some things you can’t stand?”
I was crushed but undaunted. I thought about the fact that he had qualified his answer with the word “avid.” Maybe he didn’t mind people who are “No-Name,” but not avidly so?
Unfortunately, that thought was no help; I’m hopelessly avid. But maybe I could send a cute, flirty message to him suggesting we could have spirited political discussions from opposing points of view.
Seems to me that there are good reasons to keep your political affiliation off of your profile and there are also good reasons to add it.
Here are 3 reasons to keep your political affiliation off your dating profile.
1. You might miss out on somebody great.
Is avoiding at least mild disagreement worth missing out on the love of your life? You might even learn something from that avid “No-Namer.”
If political views aren’t a dealbreaker for you, you could be closing the door to compatible matches.
2. It may give your profile a combative tone.
If my Mr. Wrong had skipped that question, I’d have felt happy and friendly after reading his profile. But, just the mention of politics felt tense to me. Not the mood you want to cultivate when trying to attract dating partners.
3. It may give away more information than you’re comfortable sharing.
While some people are proud and outspoken about their views, others prefer to confide only in people they know well.
On the other hand, there are also 3 good reasons to go ahead and let your views be known.
1. It can save time, money, and aggravation.
If Mr. Wrong had skipped that question, who knows? We may have talked and dated at least a few times before politics came up in conversation. But then, once it did, what would have happened?
2. Being specific can help you find dating partners who are suited to you.
The right person won’t know you’re a good match if they don’t know anything about you. Yes, you’ll attract fewer people if you state your views.
But that group is more likely to include the ones you are better partners for. And the better partners for you are going to be attracted to your specific characteristics.
3. It can help you find out more about each other.
You’ll always have something to talk about.They reflect your values and thoughts about what life should be like for yourself and other people. They define what you think is worth striving and sacrificing for.
Here are 3 tips for effectively approaching political affiliation in dating.
1. Is it a dealbreaker?
Before typing in your political party, ask yourself if disharmony over politics is a dealbreaker for you. If politics aren’t important to you, then adding political affiliation to your profile will only alienate potential mates. Of course, if you’re looking for a fling, you probably want to stay away from serious topics on your profile altogether. On the other hand, if you’re avid and if agreeing about politics is important to you, you might as well put it out there. Working your views into your profile may help you attract compatible people.
2. Find creative ways to get the message across.
Some people are dyed-in-the-wool “No-Namers” and want to be identified as such. Others hold particular views but don’t strongly identify with a party. If that’s you, you don’t have to mention a political party at all. Instead, find a way to work something you’re passionate about into the profile.
People will get the message and it will tell them more about you than any label.
3. Be nice.
Finally, learn a lesson from Mr. Wrong and say it in a nice way. Who’s going to be attracted to a profile that shouts, “Inferior people need not apply”? Something flirty and positive along the lines of, “Looking for long walks on the beach and passionate political discussions about …” will invite people who want that, too.
Be creative on your profile. Be yourself.
If it isn’t important to you, keep it off your profile and don’t let anyone guilt you into doing otherwise. If it’s important to you, put it out there in a positive way. Let people know who you are in a way that feels comfortable to you.
I hope you meet Mr. or Ms. Right (or Left) soon!
Originally published on YourTango