5 Reasons I Want A Marriage And Not A Wedding

Weddings are beautiful events to attend, and they’re the happiest days of many couples’ lives. As a single twenty-two-year-old, though, I feel like they’re only great if they have cute guys, open bars, and plenty of food. Also, I can’t deny that a wedding is a great excuse to dress up. 

However, if I get married, I don’t want a wedding. I want a marriage, not a wedding. 

If you want a wedding, please go ahead, you do you. Don’t let my views discourage what you want to do. But here are five reasons I personally don’t envision a big wedding for myself:

1. They’re too much money.  

The thought of spending five figures on one party makes me cringe. That’s enough money for a house payment. Why not save your money for a really cool honeymoon that will last longer than your wedding day? Why pay for tuxedos and bridesmaids dresses (or even force our loved ones to pay for them?) And why pay for fancy food that no one’s crazy about? Moreover, why pay for a dress that you’ll never wear again? Splurging on a nice honeymoon sounds more reasonable to me. 

2. Wedding traditions are cheesy. 

The wedding garter? Wearing white? Tossing the bouquet? Where do these traditions come from? And I still don’t understand why it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. It’s not like the groom is meeting the bride for the first time on the wedding day.  

Some wedding traditions even feel sexist. It seems like the tradition of a father walking his daughter down the aisle is more like a business transaction. It feels like the father is basically telling the groom, “Here you go; she’s your responsibility,” and it revolts me. Whether I’m married or not, I’m my own responsibility.

3. Not everybody is crazy about the attention that a wedding brings. 

I personally can’t imagine walking in front of 300 hundred people who are all staring at me. And for that matter, why do we focus all of the wedding attention on the bride instead of the couple? I want a more private day – just me and my husband. 

4. Weddings create unnecessary stress. 

Even if they don’t mean to be, wedding guests can be whiny. I don’t feel like spending at least a year, trying to accommodate everything and everyone. Getting married is already a stressful transition; I don’t need extra drama to worry about. 

5. I care about my future husband, not the party.

I want to know that I’m marrying the right man. How does he view women? What ambitions does he have? How do we bounce back from the stupid arguments that we have? Do we appreciate our similarities and still respect our differences? As long as my husband doesn’t not stop me from adopting a dog, doesn’t cheat on me, and doesn’t get bored of me, I’m happy. Being a team is more important than a fancy day. 

Big weddings are perfect for lots of women, but they’re not for me. At the end of the day, I want my wedding day to be about me, my husband, and the love that we share. Instead of all the materialism a, we would authentically cherish our time together.

Photo by claudia lam on Unsplash


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