It’s the most wonderful time of the year: cuffing season!
In case you don’t know, cuffing season is a time where singles look for short-term relationships during the chillier months of the year. Essentially, they look for someone to snuggle with, bring to holiday gatherings, and spend time with as the temperature drops.
But, let’s be real: Not everyone is getting cuffed during cuffing season. I’m one of the cuffless right now, and honestly, I’m liking it.
However, the questions start rolling in: “Why are you single?” “When are you finally going to get a boyfriend?” “How can you spend the holidays alone?”
When people ask me these questions, here’s what I tell them about dealing with being single during cuffing season.
1. I’m focusing on myself right now (seriously).
I know this sounds like a clichè, but it’s actually true. Instead of informing others why I’m single, I tell them that I’m focusing on myself. I let them know that while being in a relationship with someone else is nice, I’m perfecting fine with having a great relationship with myself.
This is actually true, too. I’m focusing on how I can be a better version of myself in a physical, mental, and spiritual sense. After all, how are you supposed to ask someone to love you if you don’t love yourself?
2. I’m focusing on my career.
Personally, I have some pretty ambitious career goals. That means I have to work extra hard to stay on track and develop myself as a professional. So, if someone asks me how I’m dealing with being single during cuffing season, I don’t hesitate to tell them that I’m prioritizing my career right now.
3. I’m enjoying time with my friends and family.
One of the biggest reasons people look for relationships during cuffing season is that they don’t want to spend the holidays alone. That’s pretty understandable as it can get lonely. However, you can enjoy the holidays with friends and family if you don’t want to feel alone.
I’m fortunate enough to have incredible friends and family members who welcome me into their homes around the holidays. We celebrate together, catch up on our lives, and make memories that will last a lifetime.
Are these people in relationships? Yes. Do I feel weird hanging out with them when I’m single? Absolutely not. People who truly love you will respect your decision to bring (or not bring) someone around during cuffing season.
4. I’m picking up new hobbies.
Cuffing season doesn’t mean you have to commit to a relationship. Instead, I’ve been committed to picking up new hobbies. I’ve tried cooking other things besides scrambled eggs (and it’s paid off!), baking, writing, and working out. Each of these things makes me happy and helps me feel fulfilled. So, rather than focusing on my dating life, I’m focusing on the activities that make me feel incredible.
5. I’m planning my next vacation.
Originally, I’ve had some travel plans for this year, but they were permanently put on hold once the coronavirus pandemic hit. Now that there’s a vaccine, travel may be feasible within the next year or two. Since it’s now in the realm of possibility, I’m going to spend the rest of cuffing season planning a new vacation. Once it’s safe to travel internationally again, I’d love to go abroad to visit Ireland and Scotland. Whether I do that alone, with friends, or with a significant other is to be determined, but I’m really looking forward to it.
At the end of the day, here’s what all singles should remember right now: It’s okay. It’s okay if you’re single and looking, and it’s okay if you’re single and not looking. Cuffing season shouldn’t make you feel bad about your dating life. If anything, it should empower you. If you want to look for a relationship, by all means, go for it. However, if you don’t want to commit right now, that’s perfectly valid.
As Lizzo famously said, “Got to take a deep breath, time to focus on you.” So put yourself first and don’t be afraid to be single during cuffing season. You have the rest of your life to find love, so take your time and enjoy your life now!