Picture this: You’re in a relationship, everything is going perfectly, you’re on cloud nine. It feels amazing, and you’re happier than you’ve ever been. You think to yourself this person might just be the one. The one you’ve been searching and waiting for. For once, something good is happening to you.
Suddenly, your phone goes off. You eagerly pull out your phone to check, just knowing it’ll be a sweet message from the person that’s given you all these feelings. Unfortunately, you’re wrong. You look at the message and your heart drops into your stomach. You read the message over and over. The cloud you were sitting on disappears beneath you.
That relationship, the person you were thinking was the one, is not who you thought. The message was from a name you’ve never seen before, a number you’ve never seen, but the words resonate in your mind. The text read “He isn’t who you think.”
His loyalty isn’t with you. He’s been seeing her, too.
You think back to the times he told you during your relationship that he was going out with his friends, he was stuck at work, he was doing something important, but would text you or call you when he got home. What was true? Was any of it true? How can you know? More importantly, what do you do now?
Confrontation isn’t easy, but it’s necessary for this type of situation. He needs to know you’ve received this message. Prepare yourself, though. He’ll have an excuse. “She’s a crazy ex, she tries to sabotage all of my relationships.” Or maybe something simple, “Why would you believe someone you don’t know over me? Do you really think I’m like that?” He’ll do his best to convince you that she’s lying.
However, answer her. Reply back to the text. She may have proof he’s not faithful to you. Check with her, do not be afraid to reply to this woman. Don’t blame her, it’s not her fault at all. It’s not your fault, either. It’s his fault. Answer her, ask questions. Ask her when they were together, when they were dating, and when anything happened between them.
Talk to this woman, and remember to empower one another. It may seem cruel, but the best thing you can do is stand up to him as a team. As a team, it’s harder for him to make an excuse. How can he look you both in the eye, claiming the other is just crazy? He’ll double down. He may feel ganged up on, but the truth will come out.
Keep questioning him, and make sure his story stays the same. If he’s telling the truth there shoudn’t be anything he has to remember – he won’t be pondering on his thoughts. See if his story matches. Keep talking to him, and have her talk to him as well.
When the truth comes out, if he really is a two-timing player, it’s time to cut him off. I do not recommend giving him another chance. Trust is hard to rebuild, but it’s easy to shatter. He’s shattered your trust, and broke your faith in him. If you choose to rebuild your relationship with him, it may not ever be the same.
In the best-case scenario, you can take out the trash, and make a new friend. Best friends can come from the worst situations. If you team up with the other woman, do not let him pit you against each other. Stand up for the other woman, and hope that she’ll stand up for you, too. Remember, again, it is not her fault. He’s the one that made the decision to break both of your trust, she’s damaged, as well. Neither of you deserves what he’s done to you. My advice – take out the trash, and make a new friend in the process.
Photo by Raffy John Jimenez on Unsplash