We all feel frustrated and defeated when lasting love seems elusive. Although it may seem like karma is working against you, it’s more likely that how you give and receive love is probably the real issue. We learn all about love from our family of origin, and many of us never stop to consider if the ways we learned how to love were ever really effective. If you’re ready to turn over a new leaf and start looking at love in new ways, then consider these five hacks to rewire your brain so you stop blocking out love from your life.
1. Go on an “inner-child date.”
The little child inside of you might sabotage lasting love because you’re not paying enough attention to your inner child’s needs and wants. If you sabotage good relationships, rarely trust your intuition, or constantly seek validation from others, then it’s time to go on some “inner-child dates” so that you can improve the relationships within yourself.Once a week for two to three hours, engage in an activity selected by the little child inside of you. Make sure that each week’s activity is unique and do not multitask during these inner-child dates. After doing this for a few months, reflect on which activities refueled you the most — then prioritize these activities when scheduling out your week or month.
Before we can love someone else, we must first love ourselves. Inner-child dates provide a great way to foster self-love and also make time for yourself. So don’t cancel on yourself; enjoy these moments of carefree exploration.
2. Practice receiving.
Many people avoid compliments, help, or even verbal support. However, humans were made to live in communities, which means we often rely on each other.
When you practice receiving, you open yourself up to love. So instead of pushing through independently, accept help when it’s offered. Respond to compliments with a smile and a simple, “Thank you!” instead of deflection. Not only will the person offering the compliments or help feel more connected to you, but you’ll feel better as a result.
3. Make fear your friend.
Emotional fear is probably blocking love from you more than you can imagine. Although you may feel uncomfortable at first, stepping toward the unfamiliar through fear won’t kill you. In fact, you won’t experience any physical harm whatsoever.
A friend is someone you’re happy to see, not someone you’re looking to avoid. By making fear your friend, you help pave the way towards your own personal transformation.
However, stepping toward your fear takes courage and commitment. You must be ready to push through and fight for what you truly desire — even if it scares you. When you start confronting your fears and making them your friend, you will feel more energized and ready to tackle other parts of your life.
When you focus on the negative parts of your past, you block out any chance of finding future love. So instead of doing that, rewire your brain by practicing simple, yet effective, laughter exercises.
This technique will lighten your spirits and rewire your emotional response to those painful events in your past. Emotions trigger chemicals in your brain that flood the body, and faking an emotion has the exact same effect. Yes, really!
When you start practicing laughter, you will vocalize all three laughing sounds: ho, ha, and he. To do this, place your hands on your lower stomach, take a deep breath, and start forcing yourself to repeat these sounds: “Ha, ha, ha! Ho, ho, ho! He, he, he!”
After a few moments, you’ll start laughing for real. Laughter is infectious and contagious. Once you have a good laugh going, retell the upsetting story of what happened out loud. This will help you process these painful experiences in a new way and, with time, make them more tolerable.
5. Be grateful.
Want to stop blocking love for good? Then practice gratitude. Because gratitude keeps you focused on finding love in your everyday life, it’s the ultimate way to rewire your brain for love.
Look for silver linings in your past relationships, including ones that really hurt you. Also, start new habits like gratitude journaling or sharing what you’re thankful for out loud with your friends. Since we’re all drawn towards happy, grateful people, this shift in focusing on the positive will make you more attractive and more likely to find love.
Although you may feel like your lifelong lover will never come, a simple shift in your thinking may be the key that unlocks your love life for good. With these five simple hacks, you can rewire your brain for long-lasting love over time. So make a plan to incorporate these new habits into your daily life and wait for love to come to you.
Originally Published on YourTango