How To Tell If Your Love Interest Is A Lesson Or Soulmate

It is so easy to be caught up in the romance and future with them when finding a new partner. However, we learn with each experience that there are two kinds of love interests that come into our lives: a soulmate and a teacher.

The first is the type of love you’re meant to be with, and the second is the love that won’t work out but teaches you an important lesson.

You may think it’s easy to identify them as they strictly sound different. For example, there are relationships that may have been tumultuous and painful that taught you a lot. Sometimes it can be hard to identify which, though. And you might be fighting for a relationship to work when it’s just not meant to be. In these cases, you should accept reality, take the lessons it’s given you, and move forward.

If you still aren’t sure which one your relationship is or was, then keep reading for your guide.

How to tell if they are meant to teach you some things:

Traditionally, these are the romances that more than likely didn’t work out for a reason. But you still can’t help but want them and the drama they bring. Maybe you want to feel needed or get attention, or maybe you just loved them more than they loved you and you aren’t ready to close that chapter. However, these are the ones that you make a lot of mistakes with and eventually learn from. Regardless, it can be hard to let go.

The teacher will always come back into your life until you have learned what you needed to learn or finally have the strength to walk away.  The majority of the time, you need to learn how to love and respect yourself, or what you should search for in a partner. But the pattern of their behavior will always continue with a teacher. 

More often than not, bad habits within a relationship with a teacher will bleed into your future relationships in a negative way. For example, the way your new partner argues with you may trigger you to become overly defensive over something minor because your teacher used to explode over tiny things. However, if you reflect on the mistakes before jumping into something new then the pattern can stop. You can truly learn from the teacher and come out better for it. 

How to tell if you are meant to be with them as a soulmate:

The effortlessness that you find with a loved one is what largely makes them your soulmate. You just click in an indescribable way and gravitate back to each other naturally. It’s never forced, but just delightfully happens as if time never passed between you two. 

You do not need to work hard for validation or their love. It comes naturally and you feel completely at ease when they are present. The conversation is never forced, either. Regardless of how repetitive, serious, silent, or playful, it’ll always be interesting and natural with them. 

What to do if your relationship falls in the teacher category: 

A lot of times we try so hard to make our teachers our soulmates. You want the tumultuous love to last because you fantasize that trials and tribulations before your success are what make your love story so great. Deep down, you might have realized that you’ll never get their approval but you still want it as much as you want them, and you will never address your denial head one until they’ve moved on. Even if you can’t reconcile your issues, it’s still something that you want so badly. You’ll tell yourself you have a deeper connection than what you actually have.

If you’re in one of these relationships, you need to accept that it’s not healthy. With a soulmate partner, you won’t be a constant state of stress or worry over your relationship. Don’t convince yourself that it’s normal — it’s not. And you deserve better. 

Just because someone treated you well for some time and is physically attractive does not mean you are compatible. If you have to force anything, it’s clearly not the right fit for you. One day your soulmate will work their way into your life and everything will feel right. Be patient and it’ll happen to you when it’s meant to be. But until then, learn from your mistakes and grow from them.

Photo by Candice Picard on Unsplash


  1. Soulmate relationships will involve deep and sometimes emotionally painful work. They make you feel complete. You respect your partner and each other, and don’t try to teach or to make what you want. It is mutual love, forgivness and compromise. And I’m sure when you meet the right person – you will feel it.


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