Who still uses Tinder? Not me. It absolutely sucks and I’ll tell you the main reason why, but first I’m going to give you a quick low-down on what I think is happening before I get to the real heart of the problem.
We Have Become Experts
I suppose you could say we have become experts at Tinder. After years and years of usage, we finally know what we want and what we don’t want. I think this all comes down to the fact that we have TOO much choice. Think of Subway – anyone else feel super overwhelmed by the selection? Not only do you have to pick your filling, but your bread as well?! It’s the same principle; we are too fussy because we have too many options to choose from.
Now that we’ve become experts, we only want the best. We can almost judge what type of character someone is just by looking at their first picture. We don’t even need to read the bio anymore. Based on the photo, we already know his intentions, his cat’s name, and whether or not he supports Trump.. We have become dismissive of anything less than perfect so we match with a hundred guys but only ever speak to one.
We get bored too quickly
So you’ve filtered your favorites after brainstorming with your mates your top contenders. You’re left with three options, the pretty boy, but his texting seems flat and there’s not much of a conversation going; the guy who seems loaded and has endless pictures of his traveling experience; or the guy who’s not as good looking as the other two but the conversation is going pretty well and both of you seem equally as interested.
You choose the last guy, you go on your first date, and it goes swimmingly. You both have incredible eye contact and you can feel your rosey cheeks blush through your skin as you sip your cheap red wine. You’re playing a little lighthearted footsie under the table but you leave it at that as you don’t want to come across too easy. The date ends, he kisses you on your cheek and you go away with a smile on your face.
The next day you haven’t heard from him and you eagerly await a text but a text never comes. That’s it? After all of that? Yes. Because the excitement came out on just one date, and now he’s bored. W
There’s no build up
And here it is, the finale, the main reason why it doesn’t work. There’s no goddamn build up! No story, no ‘does she like me, does she not.’ There’s just no excitement because it’s unnatural as heck. Online dating isn’t exciting, it feels scripted. You aren’t getting to know each other, you’re just interviewing each other. It’s not romantic in the slightest.
I think back to the time when I’ve ever caught feelings for anyone and it has always been because I met them in person. We would get to know each other as the moment arises. We would happen to bump into the same bar on a night out, hang out with the same friends etc. None of this planned bullshit you get nowadays.
To sum all of this up, maybe I’m just bitter because I’ve been single for almost 3 years! I’d rather meet the love of my life when I least expect it, rather than planning my wedding after just swiping right. I’d rather stay single for another 3 years if it filters my chances of meeting someone who’s actually going to last.