15 New Years Resolutions All College Students Make And Then Break

New Years Eve is the one night a year that sequins are actually okay to wear out and kissing the random drunk person next to you is *more* socially acceptable. As the new year approaches (gasp how is it almost 2018…), many people are once again starting to jump on the bandwagon of making “new years resolutions.” You know the whole idea of “new year new me,” that apparently just because we begin a new year, you can completely reinvent yourself. Here are 15 New Years resolutions that college students ALWAYS make and without a doubt continue to break.

15. Pick Up A Hobby 

Remember how you always wanted to learn that musical instrument or play that sport? Maybe you’ll finally get to it this year but probably not. We all know you’re going to stick to your regular bullshit.

14. Save Money

The reality of graduation is going to come faster than you know and your parents will no longer be financially responsible for your living situations. So if you don’t want to be sleeping on your parents couch once you graduate, it’s probably time to stop blowing money on Uber or pizza after a trip to the bar. Good luck.

13. Study More

Instead of constantly pulling all-nighters and cramming before exams, you might want to create a studying schedule that will help you effectively get all your work done in a respectable manner and have a normal sleep schedule.

12. Apply For Internships/Jobs

Graduation is going to sneak up on you and if you don’t have an internship or any job experience, you can’t put “chronic napper” or “french fry connoisseur” on a resume.

11. Drink Less

You are starting to regret that you can’t remember most of last semester because you blacked-out every weekend. So you promise yourself that you will make some changes to your binge drinking-habits. Good luck on not caving during syllabus week.

10. Workout More 

With your winter bod in full effect, you entertain the idea of swapping laying in your bed and binge watching Netflix after class to hitting the gym. This will usually last a full week.

9. Go To Bed At A Decent Time

Coming to the realization that all those nights last semester where you stayed up until 2 a.m. watching Netflix and eating popcorn needs to stop. New year, means new and productive you until the anxiety and insomnia kicks back in.

8. Not Skip Class

Considering you actually pay to take these classes, maybe it’s finally time you start showing up for them besides on exam days. In theory, this sounds completely doable but something about your bed and Netflix will convince you otherwise.

7. Not Be Hungover For Class 

And when you do decide to actually go to class, you promise yourself that you’ll be coherent enough to process what’s going on and not be thinking about puking the entire time. Too bad Friday classes are impossible to be not-hungover for.

6. Eat Healthier 

You say you’ll be committed to adding some fruits and veggies to your typical coffee and ramen noodle diet. You even go on Instagram and follow every healthy food blogger known to man#eatclean. You’ll then realize the healthy lifestyle is far from affordable.

5. Not Have Red Cups In Every Picture 

Realistically, it’s a good time to start cleaning up your social media accounts. So when jobs go to look you up the first thing they don’t find is the picture of you shot-gunning a beer with the hashtag #hotmessexpress. But sometimes, you just need to do it for the gram.

4. Determine The Relationship With Your Hookup 

New year, new and independent you. You’re fed up with only seeing him drunkenly and promise to DTR with your long term hook up buddy once you’re back on campus. However, the fear of losing your consistent hook up keeps you from saying what you actually want.

3. Purchase An Adult Wardrobe 

Since this is the year you’re landing your dream internship/job you need the attire to go with it, since apparently you can’t wear sweatpants and your college hoodie to an interview. While you will absolutely spend money on the new wardrobe, you will undoubtedly still wear your non-adult wardrobe 99.9% of the time.

2. Actually Be Done With Your Ex 

This is the year you will delete their number, unfollow them on every social media site and stop “accidentally” running into them everywhere. This is the year you move on and convince yourself you’re better than their new bae. However, if they reach out to you, it doesn’t count right?

1. Make A Cleaning Schedule and Keep Up With It 

Instead of having a mountain of clothes in your room and two weeks worth of empty to-go coffee cups sitting around, maybe it’s time to start a schedule so your friends don’t faint when they walk in your room. On the other hand, everything else will seem like more of a priority than cleaning.

There you have it folks, another year is approaching and we’re stuck with the same old resolutions we promise ourselves each January 1st. Even though we end up breaking 99% of them within the first month, it’s the thought that counts though right?

Photo by Michael Discenza on Unsplash

Originally published on University Primetime


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