What It’s Like To Need You Here

Writing this at two in the morning one night after a night out drinking. Just on my phone notes app thing. It all came pouring out because I was so used to coming back, falling into bed, and falling into you – half asleep but still happy that I was back in your arms again. The night I wrote this was the first night you weren’t in my bed when I got back. It was just cold and empty.

I Need You Here

I want you here.

Right now.

And that’s ridiculous

and weak but I think

I might be at the point where

I just don’t care about being the weak one


And I’m sorry for that

because it makes you the strong one

all the time and that’s not fair

for you but

I just need you here.

I need you

to be my warm blanket

when I’m freezing.

I need you

to be my pillow

when you steal mine.

I need you

to come back

and sit with me

in my bed

while I do work.

I want back my walking to class buddy

and my hit me up if you need anything

at anytime buddy.

I want the boy

who would do anything

to be near me for a little while longer

instead of the one that avoids

my presence at any given chance.

I want my best friend back in my life.

But not in my life in that way.

Not in a friendship way

because I don’t believe

that we can ever be friends.

I think there will always be too much

there for us to just be friends ever again

and be happy that way.

Being just friends with you

would be like living my life

with you within my reach but

so far from it all at the same time.

I can’t live like that.

I need all of you or none of you

and I know that’s unfair and selfish and

I should be able to just settle for you

simply being in my life but

I don’t believe anyone should have

to settle for only pretend happy.

So I can’t settle for you as just my friend.

I need you to be more.

I need you to be here.

Featured image via Kevin Laminto on Unsplash


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