Throughout our lives, we enter and leave many relationships. The most complicated usually being romantic relationships. When our relationship with a significant other ends, it usually breaks us. We don’t understand why it happened, or we do understand but can’t really accept it. It’s difficult to come to terms with the fact that someone who was a significant part of your past is no longer a significant part of your present or future. The reason it is so hard is that we fail to see that not all relationships are meant to last forever.
Many times the romantic relationships we partake in are there simply to teach us something. It gives us the opportunity to grow and mature. It allows us to learn about ourselves, others, and relationships in general. The relationship may not have lasted forever, but what you learn from that should last a lifetime. Though it may be difficult to accept, what needs to be understood is that some people are meant to be in your life only for a moment.
When a relationship ends, we tend to isolate ourselves. We block ourselves off from the world. We don’t want anyone to see the pain and struggle. We fight back when people are negative and we don’t want to talk about. We instead ask ourselves questions that have all but one answer. Why did it end? Where did we go wrong? How did this happen? There is only one clear answer. It wasn’t meant to last forever. It’s a scary thought now, but someday it will make sense.
We also feel something no one likes to feel: regret. We blame ourselves or we blame the other person, but the truth is, it may be no one’s fault. Sometimes things don’t work out. It doesn’t mean that either person did anything to cause it, and placing the blame won’t help. It will only cause more problems. Sometimes you just drift apart, It’s a natural thing to occur. It only means that the people grew, but the relationship didn’t. There is no blame to be placed. You just have to be understanding and hope that there are no hard feelings. You can still be happy for each other and wish them the best.
You deserve to be in a relationship that you value. You deserve to be appreciated and loved. If the relationship you are in is not providing that then you should and need to move on. That doesn’t make the other person a bad person, it just means they weren’t right for you. Sometimes you are in the right relationship with the wrong person. Even if that person wants all the same things as you do, if they are not providing those things, you need to move on. If you want to move on then do it. If they want to move on, let them. Don’t stay in a dead end relationship just because you are afraid.
Don’t sit at home wondering what went wrong. Don’t keep going through the messages and looking at the pictures. Learn to live again, go out and do something fun. Reconnect with people and connect with some new people. Find a new love. Do something you enjoy and try something new. You never know what will happen next, but you won’t find out if you never move on. So stop reliving it. Don’t forget the lessons that were there, but also don’t keep trying to figure out where it went wrong and what could have been done differently.
Relationships aren’t always meant to last forever.
Featured Image via Unsplash.