8 Things You Need To Know Before Loving Me

Dear Future Significant Other,

I don’t know if we have met yet. Maybe we’ve been friends for a while, maybe we’ve met in a bar once, or maybe we’re still complete strangers. Whatever the scenario may be, there are some things that I need you to know about me.

I am fiercely independent and will want to do some things on my own. This doesn’t mean anything about our relationship. I will still love you the same, respect you the same, and you are still the man that you always were. It’s sometimes a balance that I struggle with, but only because it’s so important to me, and it’s important to me that you respect that.

I don’t always love myself but I try really hard. I know that I have flaws and sometimes I let that get to me. My self-doubt will sometimes cloud my judgment, but loving me regardless means a lot to me. It’s taken a lot of hard work to get myself to the place of self-peace and self-loving that I’m at now, but it something that takes continuous work. Sometimes things get ugly, but I really need you to not give up on me and know that I’d never give up on you.

You will never have to wonder how I feel about you. I’ll be honest if you let me and expressive if that doesn’t freak you out. You will always know what you mean to me and I’ll never let you feel inadequate. I don’t play games and I won’t make you wait for me. A little chase is fun, but I’ll never take it too far.

I’m going to want to take care of you. Whether you’re sick, you’re feeling down, or maybe I’m just in the caregiving mood, I will want to take care of you. Sometimes I will want to treat you to dinner or a movie, and I want you to let me. When you’re sick, let me make soup for you, and even if it’s terrible, you should still eat it (and I won’t get mad when you make fun of me for it). I will always try to make you laugh. It’s okay to let me take care of you, it’s okay for you to appreciate it, and it’s even more okay if you like it.

Sometimes I need solitude, and that’s not your fault. We all need a little space sometimes, and it’s not anyone’s fault. I might reject your offer of a night out or for you to make me dinner at your place. I don’t want you to feel bad about this because sometimes I just need some alone time. I need time to unwind away from other people. I need time to reflect on my day or whatever situation I’m finding myself in, and sometimes, I just need some time to find myself when I’m feeling a little lost.

Working on myself is a big part of my identity and that doesn’t mean I hate myself. Just because I’m actively looking for ways to improve myself doesn’t mean that I hate the way I am. It simply means that I know I can be a better me tomorrow than I was yesterday. I’m all about being comfortable in my own skin, and I’ll encourage you to work on yourself as well.

I’m afraid of permanence but I work really hard not to be. A friend once told me that this was fancy lingo for “commitment issues.” Maybe they’re not completely wrong, but you have no idea how hard I have worked to not be afraid of commitment or anything that could be permanent. I’m still working out some kinks as I go, but with the right encouragement, I can conquer anything.

I don’t do anything half-assed, so you can bet that I will be putting 110% into our relationship. I work hard, and I play hard. What’s the point of doing anything if you’re only going to do it halfway? I want to go on adventures and I want to do it with you. I want you to encourage me in every aspect of my life and I’ll do the same for you.

I can’t always promise smooth sailing. We’ll surely hit some bumps along the way but I need to know that you’ll stick around for it and we’ll help each other through it. I need to know that you won’t run away when things get tough because I’m in it for the long haul. I’m sometimes difficult to love, but I can promise that it will be worth it.

I don’t know if we’ve met yet, but I am ready for you and I can’t wait to meet you. Come and find me when you get this.


Your Future Significant Other

Feature image via jacimariephoto.



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