“Always close one door before you open another.” We have all heard this saying at some point in our lives. This is what closure is at its core. Closure is defined as the act of putting an end to a situation. In respect to a relationship, it gives two people a chance to wrap up their feelings for good. I cannot emphasize how important it is to move on after a breakup. You will realize you have gotten your closure when you are truly comfortable letting this person go from your life. The process of healing is ongoing and for most of us takes extended periods of time, however closure acts as a catalyst to expediting this healing process.
There are two broad categories of getting the closure. The ideal way would be talking to your partner, but if you’re not on speaking terms with them, you can find closure within yourself as well. The following are a few ways you can get the closure you are longing for:
- Give yourself time to process what has happened: A sudden breakup is a difficult event for anyone to digest. Don’t rush into trying to get over your partner overnight and getting back to your life routine like nothing happened, instead give yourself time to heal and fully complete the process of hurting.
- Reflect on your relationship: It is very easy to blame yourself or your partner for your relationship going down south, however real maturity lies in sitting with a clear mind and reflecting on your relationship to realize what things you did right and what needs to be changed or improved in the future.
- Do something symbolic: This may sound a bit crazy but it actually works. Do something symbolic like take their picture and burn it, write a letter to them stating exactly how you feel and shred it or take their belongings that you have with you and give it away. It doesn’t sound like a big deal but once you have actually done something symbolic, you will feel a sense of joy from within.
- Talk to a friend/family or seek professional help: Humans need to vent about any situation in life and a breakup is no different. Talk to someone you’re comfortable with, maybe a friend or family. Their inputs will give you a clearer picture on what happened and you will have a chance to reflect when you’re thinking out loud as well. If you want a completely objective point of view then talk to a counselor or a therapist. It will definitely make you happier and put your mind at ease.
- Talk to your partner: This is the most ideal way to get closure, although most people are not fortunately enough to get closure this way. Ask them to explain why things got bad to the point that it needed to end. Sit with them and discuss your relationship. Once you get answers to your questions, moving on will become an easier feat.
- Do things that give you a sense of happiness and peace: Its time to start thinking about yourself. Do whatever makes you happy. Revisit an old hobby or take up a new one. Go shopping or pamper yourself at the spa. Do whatever it takes to take your mind off the pain and negativity and focus on a more positive activity.
- Write about how you feel: This I can say by personal experience that writing always helps when you’re down. Sometimes just sitting and reflecting may not give you the desired outcome. However, writing gives clarity to your thoughts and helps you understand what happened in the past and how you can fix it in the future.
- Get a change of scenery: Surroundings play a crucial role especially when you’re feeling low. A change of scenery, away from your partner can really do wonders for you. I understand that it’s not feasible for most people to leave everything and get out just like that, however changing small things in your current environment like your decor, furniture or something small like that will also help you feel better and make you more positive.
- Start working out:Working out not only helps you stay fit but also helps release happy hormones as well. Join the gym, go for a jog or start playing some sport. Being fit will not only increase your self-confidence but the release of happy hormones will also innately make you feel much better.
- Disconnect from your partner: Of course you can be friends with your ex but in order for that to happen, they’re needs to be a cooling off period after a breakup. Disconnect completely from your partner, no calls, messages or social media stalking. Refrain from going to places or events when you will bump into them at least for sometime initially. Less is more, in this case the less you know about their whereabouts and what they’re up to in their lives, the easier it will be for you get over the pain and move on.
Letting go of the sadness and the pain is in fact the first step towards being happy. It takes a lot of will and motivation to get over a breakup and get closure in order to finally move on. However, with time and dedication, you will become comfortable with whatever happened and realize that it happened for the best. We as humans tend to underestimate how strong we are and although the pain will take time to fade, you will emerge as a stronger and more experienced individual. Don’t get disheartened if this didn’t work out for you, don’t get overwhelmed by the pain, always remember, the joy of being in love is worth the pain that is associated with it.