How To Tell If You Have Fallen In Love With The Wrong Guy

You’ve been through the bad boys and then some sweethearts. You have had flings and you have had year-long commitments. Maybe you even dropped the L word once or twice.

There was your first love who made you weak in the knees before anyone else had the chance to ruin your innocence. There was your second love who slowly knocked down the walls that your first love had forced you to create. Then you had your third, and fourth, and who knows how many other times you fell in love. They continually come through your life as each predecessor lets you down. It seems that they slowly get better the more times you fall in love. One lover builds upon the next and, soon, you have a list of requirements in your head for the next love to walk through the door.

Can’t you just take that list of requirements; those butterflies your first love gave you and the patience your second love had, and the adventurous spirit of your third love, and roll it all into a new guy?

You take a stroll down memory lane and look back on all your lost loves. You really did think you loved that first guy. But you hadn’t known what you were missing out on. You think back through the years and that boyfriend of the moment and ask yourself, was it really love or just infatuation? You reminisce on all the good times and wonder how you let that slip away. Your head and your heart aren’t speaking the same language anymore. What drew you apart? Maybe it just wasn’t your time and maybe you two can try again. This time it might work.

No. Things didn’t work for a reason and you’re exactly where you should be. You are happy now and lead a stable life with an adult relationship. All those childish phases were exactly that, childish. You know you care and you do love your partner. But sometimes you really can’t help but wonder, is this the right guy? Is this the right time?

How do you ever know that this is it, that this is love? What have you chalked up to compromise that is really just giving up? How many fights can you sweep under the rug? Do we really only get one?

Can anyone answer these questions?

I’m not looking for the “you’ll just know” answer. I’m not buying my wedding dress here, I’m choosing a life partner. I need  something concrete, because “you can feel it” doesn’t have a measurement. If this is the rest of your life, or even a significant amount of your youth, are the risks of choosing the wrong partner outweighing the risks of continuing your single life? A lifetime is a long time.

If you find yourself questioning what you’re doing more often than living in the moment, it’s probably time to make a change. While we’re still young it’s okay to be scared of how you’ll spend the rest of your days; there is still time to question your choices and to search for answers. Fate has a way of bringing people and chances back around if they are meant to be but not all decisions you make can be undone.

Featured image via Israelzin Oliveira on Pexels


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