Closing A Chapter: The Bittersweet Feelings Of A Soon To Be Grad

Graduation is so bittersweet. It is filled with nostalgia from the years you spent there and an overwhelming amount of emotions. Today I had my last practice on the field that’s been home to me my four seasons of lacrosse. I cleaned out my locker and took one last glance at the locker room as I walked out and left it bare. I know that everything I do for the next two weeks will start becoming my “last” and it’s hard to grasp.

I know that some friends I will keep in contact with throughout my life, I’ve found some soul mates here. But it’s also a hard reality that there is some people I will more than likely never see again. Our paths just won’t cross and life will bring us further apart.  There might be some weddings we see each other at, a random alumni weekend or maybe our paths will just lead us close together in our future, but apart from that this is basically the end.

I’ve noticed myself becoming more aware lately, more aware of my surroundings and observing details of this little town. Paying attention to buildings and homes I drive past everyday instead of just mindless driving by. I take an extra second to appreciate my fellow peers hanging out on their porch during the nice weather. I think back to the first time I met people and what it was like living in the dorms. I find myself reminiscing a lot because as excited as I am for the future, it’s hard to leave behind such a great past.

College won’t be as good as it gets, I know that. There will be plenty of things to look forward to in the future, but I wouldn’t change the experience I’ve had now. There won’t be random people walking through my front door every day. There won’t be the moments of sitting around and contemplating what to do all day other than just sit on the couch. There won’t be the random ideas that turn into hour long adventures that more often than not lead nowhere.  

It’s hard to grasp that I won’t have the freedom to do whatever I want because I’ll probably never have as little responsibility in the future than I have right now. College has been an incredible ride of my life. I wouldn’t trade my experience for anything because it’s a unique time of life.

The only thing I’m certain of is that I will miss this part of my life as I pack up and move away. I don’t know how I wouldn’t. I still don’t know how I will say goodbye to the people who have been in my life for the past few years. I haven’t gone so much more than a couple months without seeing them at a time and now I don’t know the next time I’ll see them in the future. The connections I’ve made throughout my college career I wouldn’t trade for anything. Thank you for staying up all night with me, drinking when you have a test the next morning, going out to eat multiple times a week, and being there when I needed someone to talk to. I’ve found soulmates in you and I will never forget our time together.

For these next couple weeks let’s all live with passion in our hearts and a free mind. Let’s live fully and completely and make the time we have together worth every second of our time left together because this doesn’t have to be it. And if life ends up tearing us in different directions, it’s these times that we’ll hold near and dear for many post-grad years to come.

Featured Image via Allison Myers.

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