Yahoo! It: 7 Things That Would Happen If Google Didn’t Exist

Google has become the bible of our generation. We turn to it for guidance on topics ranging from academic interests to, “is this weird thing on my arm cancerous?”. Google really has been there for us through the good times, the bad times, the all-nighters, the panic attacks over our bodily functions, and the typical “how to kiss” search we all shamelessly pulled in high school. Don’t lie – you’ve searched it.

What would the world be like if we didn’t have Google, though? No reassuring link to answer all our problems. Before Google, all we had were webpages like AOL and MSN – haha, remember that catlover28_2? We had search engines, but it was more like Yahoo! and Ask Jeeves, which you were only really obligated to know about in ‘Computer Class’ throughout elementary school.

Google has pulled through at the absolute best time for us millennials and we’re lucky to have never really lived long without it. It’s become our right-hand (wo)men in this hectic world and there’s a number of things that would be bound to happen if it had never been invented. To name a few, let’s take a journey back in time to 7 things we definitely would’ve encountered if Google didn’t exist:

  1. Porn. Everywhere.

Did you know that the old search engines like Yahoo!, Ask Jeeves, and Alta had absolutely no filtration? They were so easily manipulated you could literally just tag keywords anywhere and they would place your articles in prime viewing on almost all relevant searches. This meant when you went to search “Hey, what day is Father’s Day?” You’d have to scroll through pages and pages of nasty sites filled with god knows what.

  1. Bye bye Gmail.

Many organizations, companies and colleges/universities are using Gmail now to run their operating accounts. The clean aroma of a fresh email and the user-friendly manageability of Gmail has saved my life from the cringe-worthy Hotmail and Outlook. 

  1. You may have actually made friends in your classes…or you know, gone to your classes.

I don’t know about you, but I am definitely guilty of skipping far too many classes with the rationalization that, “hey, if I don’t understand it when I look it over later, I’ll just Google it.” Without this all-encompassing search engine, you may have had to make more friends in your classes to ensure you had resources to ask questions on content you’re completely lost on.

  1. Blackberry might have made a strong comeback.

Google is responsible for bringing Android to our lives considering it’s the company that stands behind the invention of all the top-selling Android devices we know and love. Without it, the iPhone is a pretty expensive alternative. The next highly ranked phone is the Blackberry, and if you had to choose between getting BBM back or hitting up your local Bell store for a clunky black flip phone, I think the choice is clear.

  1. You’d probably still be lost right now.

How many times have you used your Google Maps app to get you out of a sticky situation? Being awful with directions is a major flaw of mine, but Google always sits gracefully in my pocket just waiting to help me find my way.

  1. No Google Docs.

So much for splitting the readings between you and your classmates, and don’t even THINK about setting up documents and spreadsheets online to be accessed by different computers. You better grab yourself a cute USB drive because document sharing just got a whole lot more difficult.

  1. Two words: Internet Explorer.

If you’ve ever experienced “Windows minutes” and how long it takes to load a page on Internet Explorer, you know just how valuable the clean and quick access to what you need on Google Chrome is.


Let’s be honest, we’d all be lost without the magical way Google ensures we’re up-to-date on all parts of our lives. Not to mention, their art of motivating us to actually learn something simply by being easy and quick for finding information. Without it? I don’t know what we’d do.

And how about those adorable little widgets they put on their home-screen to celebrate National Puppy Day and let you know when it’s the anniversary of the invention of donuts (great excuse to splurge). Google keeps us motivated and entertained with quirks like “I’m Feeling Lucky” that take us to those weird caves of the internet we may not have found otherwise.

If you’re a Google-lover like me, I’d totally recommend checking out The Internship for a great laugh with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. This comedy goes to the HQ of Google and gives you the inside scoop on where the culture began. Maybe one day, a new search engine will come along and win our hearts over again, but for now, I’m pretty f*cking grateful to keep “I don’t know, Google it” in my repertoire.

Featured image via The Internship Screengrab



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