Men Vs. Boys: Why Age Isn’t The Only Difference When It Comes To Dating

I’ll just say whatever it is that has swarmed the depths of my mind: I will never date boys.

Ever since I could comprehend the true meaning of what is right and what is wrong, dating a boy has always been the latter. I don’t mean that I am a lesbian, but what I do mean is that I will never date anyone who is completely immature. I go for men. After all, maturity does not come with a certain age…it does not matter whether you are 50 years old or 17 years old, but if you still get uncomfortable around a girl when they cry or if you can’t handle a serious relationship, then you, my friend, are immature.

I am at the stage of my life where almost all of my friends are in a relationship, and this stage is so lonely and self-deprecating that most of the time, I get desperate. I often find myself looking at guys and telling my friends that “he’s attractive” even if he’s like a 6/10, and I agree to anyone who asks me on a date. I do not turn people down for the fear of not being in a relationship, ever. If we are being honest, this is probably the most pathetic thing I have ever done.

I jump right into first dates without finding out the background of the boy, and when I’m on the date, I get surprised by how rude he is. Just a quick Facebook stalk or Twitter check may have saved us both a $60 meal over Football season with a girl who hates football. He is the one that I have told myself not to date, and yet I have been on a date with these kind of guys, millions of times.

The difference between a man and a boy is not by age, but through their ability to handle a tough situation; it is ultimately ambition, passion, patience, understanding, and love that can define someone as a man. And if a male does not have these part of their personality, you are essentially dating a boy.

The innocent appearances of younger males with their kind and naïve intentions of “loving you” is always nice, and so is the scruffier appearance of a well-bearded man in his 20s or 30s that can actually profess this love for you. Even though some younger men sometimes get immature over periods or sex, or the fact that sometimes vanity gets the best of older men, it is always better than someone who is completely immature.

I have often heard from my friends that I do not need to be in a relationship right now, especially if I am just trying to get into one for desperate measures. The relationship and the boy I will be spending my time on will not be worth it at the end of the day. They remind me in a daily basis that no matter what age the boy I try to date as long as he’s mature enough to understand me, then I’ll be fine. And that’s the truth of it all. I don’t understand how people can compare young men versus older men, relationship-wise because the age does not matter as long as they treat you right. And most importantly, it does not matter what others talk about your relationship behind your back. If you are careless enough to break your partner’s heart, then maybe you are the immature one, not him. So ladies, take this from me, who has experienced it all with boys: don’t ever date one, always look for the man, and if that takes you 10 years or so of searching, then so be it.

Featured image via Kammeran Gonzalez-Keola on Pexels

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